Dealing with a Narcissistic Co-worker

We often come across people, co-workers who try to belittle us. Their focus becomes to present themselves as grandeur and always are on the defensive. They seem like a very cold person, who never care about anyone else. If you know someone at your workplace like this, then you are probably dealing with a narcissist.

Who is a Narcissist?

Narcissism is derived from the Greek hero, Narcissus. Narcissus was a person who fell in love with his own reflection. Similarly, a narcissist is someone who loves themselves very much. They come across as people who are constantly feeling envious and trying to dominate or use the other.  They have an obsession with fantasies of immense success and show no feelings or empathy. Another aspect of them are, they are hypersensitive towards criticism, and can even react violently towards it.

Below are a few steps on how to deal with a narcissistic co-worker:

Ignore & Don’t react:

First, it is important to identify when they are trying to attack you. The only way to deal with an attack is to ignore. Ignorance becomes a bliss. The more a person will react to their attack, the more they will be fuelled to fight. Ignoring and reacting then becomes a defence against. If they see they are being ignored, they will move to the next person.

Communicating with them:

Communication with them becomes difficult. If you want to communicate with them, then it’s easier to do so in their self-interest. Maintaining eye-contact and speaking confidently with them is the key. But, remember never to criticize them or speak to them in an aggressive manner.

Watch Out!

Attacking your image and making you doubt yourself is one of their strategies. First of all, one needs to be aware when the other is starting to attack you. They do so by making you feel less confident and making you doubt yourself. Secondly, if you decide to avoid them then don’t change your mind. Also, another thing to look out for is never to criticize them in front of others. As they have a very high self-image, this can lead to harming you or punish you.

Don’t try to change them:

Empathy and feelings are things they are not able to have. Trying to change them might turn into an argument or fight. Putting themselves in someone else’s shoes is not something they are capable of. Things like, “you should…you could…” might result in them reacting abusively. If they become abusive towards you then you should just respond by saying, “This is not nice” and walk away.

Narcissism is a serious mental health disorder. It is not advisable to try and argue with them. To outsmart a person with such conduct, you would have to become like them. They are people who are not able to deal with their own feelings, and hence arguing with them makes the situation worse.