How to Handle Toxic People at Home and Work

Toxic people cause you harm in numerous ways. They put a lot of “stress” on your mind and body.

A lot of research on stress has shown that stress has a very negative effect on brain. Experiencing even a small duration of stress can decrease the functioning of the neurons in the hippocampus; the area of the brain that is responsible for memory and reasoning. Stress could cause damage that is irreversible while months of stress could destroy the neurons permanently. So, basically, when your mind is out of control due to these biological effects of stress, your performance will suffer.

When you Surround yourself with toxic people, the effect is similar to the effect of negative emotions on your body. It results in a huge stress response from your body.

You can make the process easier by internalizing these :

Choose your battles wisely

You find toxic people fighting for anything and everything on a daily basis. They have a love for drama and attention; do not feed this need and instead be mindful about the topics that really matter to you and stay away from unnecessary debates and discussions.

Do not play a part in the complaining game

These people are always complaining about their jobs, their bosses, their spouses, life circumstances etc. Self-pity is the most common form of Indulgence. Distance yourself! Toxic people have no interest in solving problems, rather they are more interested in bringing you down to their level. Save your energy and find out creative solutions.

Stay away from their emotional chaos

It is hard to deal with toxic people because they are grossly irrational. They have no logic in their understanding of the world around and the situation specifically. Distance yourself from them emotionally and just converse about facts. To stop what the other person is doing, you should try to recognize it as early as possible. You can do that by analyzing what kind of emotions you get around that person.

Build strong boundaries

This is essential and very difficult one too. If you are getting affected by the toxic person, it is also more likely that he is a close family member or a co-worker. Hence, you cannot establish boundaries very easily; but once you have identified them, their actions become more predictable and easier to deal with. For example, control how often you have to interact in a one-to-one conversation. You have to do this deliberately and with a consciousness of the fact that you are doing it.

Forgive but do not forget

Forgiveness means letting go what the other person has done to you. Forgiveness aids in moving on to other things rather than hanging on to negative emotion of being wrong for too long. But forgiveness does not mean that you have to make a fool of yourself every time. Learn from your past acquaintance with the toxic person and protect yourself from any harm in future.

Lastly, when you are dealing with toxic people, you have to build a support system. You have a lot of people in your life who are always ready to work in your interest. Pitch them in and seek suggestions about the situation and how to deal with them. They can often see a solution because they are not invested emotionally in it.