Things that make you unlikeable

If you are like most of the people who believe that being liked by someone comes from an untrainable, natural trait of a person. You are under a mistaken belief. To be likeable you do not need to be good looking, fiercely social, or exceptionally talented. It is a matter of High Emotional Intelligence.

In a recent study, subjects were asked to rate other people on their perceived traits of likeability. Surprisingly the majority of descriptors had nothing close to being attractive, gregarious or intelligent. Although some of them were related to sincerity, empathy and transparency.

These people have the skills of the social side of EQ. Apart from being likeable, they are also outperformers by a large margin. Alternatively, your being likeable at work can alter your performance.

Let us uncover some of the crucial behaviours that hold most of the people back from being likeable. Try to decrease the behaviours that make you unlikeable by magnifying the behaviours that do the opposite:

Emotional Hijacking

If you are often throwing tantrums, getting into arguments, screaming or throwing things out of anger; you lack control. You have to control your emotions depending on the situation. Exploding at someone without assessing how much they deserve it will picture you are unapproachable and intimidating. Take the driver’s seat by controlling what you feel by responding rather than reacting.

Dropping Names

It is great if you know people who are important or interesting but name dropping in every conversation us silly and pretentious. Just like Humble-bragging; people can often see through your intentions. You do not have to connect everything with who you know just to get attention. Be considerate, friendly and concise in conversations. Do not try to prove how important you are at the drop of A hat. Right attitude attracts more people than knowing someone important.

Bringing out your phone

Stop whipping out your phone in the mid of every conversation. Even a quick look or a text message turns people off. During a conversation, focus all your attention and energy on the ongoing conversation. Conversations will be more meaningful and enjoyable when you are completely in the moment.

Humble-bragging

Humblebragging is a kind of self-appraisal under the mask of self –deprecation. For example, the boy who often makes fun of himself for being a nerd; who actually wants to be appreciated for being a smart guy. Self-deprecation does not mask your bragging because people can see through it clearly. It is more frustrating because it is also an attempt to deceive.

Keeping your mind closed

Keep your mind open, to ideas as well as to people. It will make you more interesting and approachable. Do not be judgemental about everything around you. Sometimes, you really have to watch situations and the world through the eyes of the other person. You do not have to believe what they believe in or agree with whatever they say, but it simply means to quit forming opinions and just understanding their point of view.

Being very serious

Passionate people are often viewed as being too serious or un-participating because they are absorbed in their work. Hence, try to balance your work with having fun. Do not miss on valuable social moments at the workplace. Also, try to remember things that are important to people around you to make them understand how important they are to you.

Gossiping

Do not get carried away by office gossips. It makes you look terrible! So, commenting or making remarks at someone else’s misfortunes or misdeeds would hurt their feelings if the gossip ever finds its way to them. Likewise, gossiping makes you look extremely spiteful and negative, every time you indulge in it.

Summing it all up, it is important that you build your awareness around how your actions can be viewed by people around you. This will pave your way to being more likeable and strip off all negativity around you.

Also, Read our Blog on Low Emotional Intelligence.