How to make a girlfriend?

Some of the young men who approach our clinic for counseling are lonely and want companionship and are looking for a lady friend.

The challenge faced by them is two-fold:

• Growing up they were either in single-sex school and didn’t have the opportunity to mix with girls or learn how to form healthy relationships with girls
• Indian media, especially movies made in India show the hero to be a stalker and this stalking leads to the lady falling in love with the hero. Unfortunately, this is only possible in movies as in real life women detest stalkers.

So how does a young man make a lady friend? The following pointers will make it easier for you to meet more ladies.

Be comfortable being alone: Your objective should be to make a good friend and not a girlfriend. Being around women will help you appreciate the conversations and things that they enjoy.

Be helpful: Help a neighbor move stuff, help a colleague with her assignment. Be kind, be generous, but don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Your task is to be honestly generous instead of expecting a return,the consequences will follow if they have to.

Approach lots of girls: Be consistent in having conversations, don’t be shy in saying hello, and also step back if you don’t find her engaging back.

Do not be afraid: Don’t be afraid of rejection. Not every person you meet will want to be your friend.

Don’t make excuses: If you see a girl you find attractive, approach her respectfully. Don’t make excuses for yourself such as “she most probably already has a boyfriend”, “why would she be interested in me”

Have fun: If in your conversation, or interaction you aren’t having fun then please don’t proceed further.

Network: The more people you know, the larger your pool of friends they will have more friends and your probability of meeting more girls will increase

Take care of yourself: If you are well dressed and well groomed half the battle is won.

Giving compliments: Practice giving genuine compliments, don’t give fake compliments but make them genuine and realistic.

Be respectful: Be polite and respectful, don’t use foul language while in the company of girls. Unlike your guy friends, these are girls that you want to impress.

At the end of the day, you are looking to make new friends, and if this friend happens to be a girl and becomes your girlfriend you have achieved in making yourself and this other person happy.