Who is a Caregiver?

A caregiver is a person who gives help to any other person in crisis, for example to a spouse who is ill, a child who is disabled or a family member who is ill. Although, when your parents get old and you are the person responsible for taking care of them emotionally and physically,you fail to identify yourself as a caregiver; but if you recognize your role it will be easy for you to seek help and care for yourself.

Care giving is overwhelming , especially if you feel it is overflowing beyond your capacity and you have little or no control over the situation. This continuous feeling of being out of control can lead to stress. Stress motivates you to work in appropriate amounts but persistent stress can take a toll on your physical health, mental health ,Job and relationships. The continuous demands of care giving and persistent stress as a result of it can cause caregiver burnout. The most important thing to understand here is that when you are in this burnout state ,it will become difficult for you to do any work, leave aside the difficult task of care giving.

Taking care of yourself being a caregiver is therefore a necessity and not a luxury. You can only help your loved one when you are functional and not when you have joined their crisis.

Symptoms of Caregiver Stress:

• You have reduced energy levels
• You do not care about your needs anymore
• Exhaustion, despite rest
• Inability to relax even when there is help
• You patience has decreased with the person your are caring for
• Increase in irritability about everything
• You have become more susceptible to cold and Flu.
• Your hopes have reduced and your helplessness increased.
• It has become hard for you to concentrate
• You are drinking, smoking or eating more

Here are a few things you can do to Find balance and regain your sense of self and Joy in Caregiving:

Shift your attention to things in your control

This is the most important step in regaining your sense of control. When your feel powerless or out of sync of the situation,you have burnout. You cannot force your Partner to help you more with the care giving but instead you can focus more on how you react to a problem.

Accept your situation

When you face difficulties,you are often tempted to ask the question “Why it happened with you” or “How can it happen with you”.You can spend a lot of your time and energy on contemplating things you cannot change,Instead accept your situation because sometimes there are no clear answers.

Do not allow caregiving to take up all your time

It will be easy for you to deal with a difficult situation when you have other rewarding things in your life. Invest your time in things that give your life a meaning like re-cultivating your hobby, redesigning your career or taking care of your family etc.

Acknowledge your choice of caregiving

Embrace that inspite of all your stress and resentment,it is your conscious choice to be the caregiver. Focus more on the positive reasons of why you have taken the caregiving role. Maybe you want to take care of your elderly because they have taken care of you when you were young, or you want to set an example for your kids, it could be how caregiving can make you emotionally strong etc. It could be any positive meaning; that helps you sustain on the difficult path.

Celebrate small milestones

When you become hopeless, tell yourself that even if you cannot cure your loved one or make them happy; you can help them feel comfortable, loved and safe!

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