How to avoid negative thoughts?

When we have negative thoughts, we want to get over them, but we can’t. It is easier said than done! According to research, we get round about 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts in a day. Since we are living in this digital world and are exposed to Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, Youtube we take in a lot amount of data inside our brain. This gives a hike in the thoughts, some positive some negative. And mostly it’s negative! As we hear and watch so many cases of rape, abduction, honor killings, divorce, rage, acid attacks, relationship failures, infidelity, jealousy we tend to have these negative thoughts about us and our relationships.

Can you stop your thoughts coming to your mind? NO! You can’t! Can you manage it? Yes, you can…!

But HOW is the question? We often get questions like how should I stop thinking negatively? How should I get out of this Anxiety – Depression? Here are some tips –

• Check if the thought is helpful.

Not all negative thoughts are baseless. Out of 10 negative thoughts, 2-3 must be beneficial. Try to analyze and ask yourself questions like what positive can be derived out of this situation? What can I learn? If I ever come across the same situation how can I overcome and act?

• Write down the thought in a journal.

Whenever you have negative thoughts, write them down in a pocket diary/book/journal. Write the negative thought and besides that write a positive one even if you are not able to find one reason. For eg: If you have a thought that you would fail in your exam now convert this thought by writing how hard you would study to get desired marks in your exams.

• Seek evidence.

When you have a negative thought, try and check what is the proof of the same? Is it even true? Are you doubting your partner just because you had several breakups earlier in life or your partner actually having an affair?

• What will he/she think?

We are always bothered about what others will think about us… People don’t have time to think as their minds are full of their career, managing their homes, children, pets, businesses, etc. They have their issues, worries, and troubles. When you have these thoughts you tend to get consumed by them and go far away from reality. Try to seek evidence.

• Observe and take responsibility.

One cannot blame any other person for the way you think. Thoughts coming in your mind are truly yours. So one cannot say, because of you I am in pain. No, we are in pain because we are thinking in a certain way. This thought process of your’s needs change and responsibility.

• Delegate some time for negativity.

You may find this funny, however, it may be really difficult initially to stop the negativity. Hence delegate some time in a day like 10 mins or 15 mins for the negative thoughts. Let them come and go and simultaneously follow the above steps to overcome.

• Always try to live in the present.

When we have negative thoughts we tend to dwell in the past or the future or both sometimes. Start making it a habit to spend more of your time in the present moment and you’ll, naturally have less negative thoughts. Being mindful is the key.

• Exercise, breathing exercises, do what you like.

Divert your mind by doing what you like – painting, listening to music, what interests you. Do breathing exercises for instant relaxation. Go to the gym, do yoga-meditation or any form of physical exercise. It releases endorphins and makes you happy. Although this is a temporary fix, one needs to follow the above points.

• Check if you are blowing out/in proportion.

Are you magnifying or minimizing thoughts? Question your thought, why would you take this thought seriously? What is the evidence? Keep a reality check.

• Positive affirmations.

Write positive sentences to the negative thoughts and say it once you wake up and before sleeping at least 10 times.

• Write your negative thoughts and burn them.

A feeling of relaxation passes throughout your body when you write and burn things that you are obsessed with.

• Talk to a Psychologist.

After following the above steps, if you are not able to get over the negative thoughts do not hesitate to seek help. There could be some areas in life that are not known to you or are untouched, which only a trained professional helps you getting out of the same.

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