How to Raise a Joyful child?

All of us want our kids to grow up Joyful and Independent. We expect them to be loved,to love,to find their’s dreams and pursue them to success. We want our kids to be sadness Proofed from birth which is grossly meant as we want them to be Joyful throughout life.  But can we control as parents how happy or sad our Kids will be?

Science says that the family environment in which a Child thrives is very important for his Positive growth and happiness. Although,it might seem like some kids are born happy while other kids look a bit Grumpy,due to their genetic makeup; genes are malleable and can be altered by the environment. That is to say that If you want your child to be optimistic and happy,give them the gift of an optimistic and happy Home.

Here are a few additions or Changes you can make in order to enhance your Child’s capacity to absorb and experience Joy:

Do not make any effort to make your Child Happy

We spend a lot of our Parenting days just thinking about how we can fulfill all our kids wishes and also feel guilty for not being able to some of them. When you fulfill all your kids demands and wishes, you create a bubble for them which is completely different than the real world where they will eventually have to thrive.  Always keep this in mind, “You are not responsible for your kids emotions”. You have to allow them to feel sadness,anger,and negative feelings so that they know how to deal with them later as adults and develop the necessary coping skills.

Make an effort for your own happiness

You cannot control how happy your kid is whereas you can and are responsible for your own happiness. Your kids will imitate and absorb everything from you and if you are happy,they will more often than not be happy people. The best thing you can do for your child’s Emotional health is to be happy yourself. Find out time for relaxation,rest, and Romance with your spouse. When you have a beautiful relationship with your spouse,your child will be naturally happy.

Create space to succeed as well as to Fail

Give your child to acquire several skills instead of learning to be a master of praising yourself. If you want your child to have a healthy self-esteem, teach him how to strive for mastery. Allow them to learn to crawl,walk,feed themselves, ride a tricycle etc ; while you take a back step. The biggest mistake that you will do as a parent is to do too much for your kids. It is difficult to watch your kids struggle for something but it is important to fail to achieve mastery. When your kids know how they can fail several times before they have mastered something,it is easier to welcome future challenges with optimism and courage.

Give your children real Responsibility

Happiness is the byproduct of the feeling of doing work that matters and also being valued by others. If you do not have that feeling ,you fear you might be excluded from the group and research has established that human beings fear being excluded more than anything else. We have a desire to feel needed. You can make your child feel needed by giving them real work responsibility at home. It could be sorting spoons and forks at the age range of 3 years to helping in gardening for a 10-12 years old child.  The contribution by your child will plummet his self-esteem from a very tender age.

Happiness Research has consistently laid stress on ‘Gratitude” as an important factor of happiness. You cannot expect your child to keep Gratitude journal,but you can make a routine of Gratitude speech during meal time,where the adults express their gratitude about something in their own lives by turn each day.

Learn more About Dr Prerna Kohli