Dealing chronic power struggle with students

Let us look into how conflicts arise first. Whatever happens in the environment around us is an event that arouses some kind of emotion inside us. If the event is a threat to us, our minds start generating corresponding emotions. These threats that we encounter are generally perceived i.e., based on our assumption of the threat.

This is what happens:

Event—-Thoughts (Negative thoughts) —-Feelings (Anger) —-Behavior

Whatever is done by a teacher is an event for the student as it is with you. If the perceived threat is on the higher side, both of you will be negating the consequences of your action. You will experience a false sense of power and righteousness.

Understanding this power struggle in a few steps:

Innate nature:

Most kids, I have observed have the tendency to resist power and control. The early life experiences shape the kids in this way, and by the time they come to school, it is an automatic response. Try to understand this process rather than taking it as a personal attack. Since the event is same for both the parties, try to take control of your reaction. Do not take the innate nature of the child as a threat or attack on you.

Emotional control:

Always, Always keep your emotions and attitudes in check. Behave like the bigger person and choose calm in the face of the conflict.

Keep Balance:

There is nothing wrong with rules and regulations but keep a balance between rules and the need for the students to connect with you. Human beings, in general, want to be heard, appreciated, accepted and connected. Take advantage of that!

Accept your faults:

Sometimes just because we are the superiors by age and power, we ignore our own faults. Accept your flaws gracefully and try to make rectifications. Admit to the students about where you went wrong so that they have a model of behavior to mirror.