Surviving a Relationship Breakup

Breakups are tough. Dealing with them isn’t so easy when you love a person so much. It’s all the more difficult to handle when the break up is initiated not by you, but another person. Or you had to separate due to parental or social pressure. The fact that you won’t see your loved one ever again or see your loved one in someone else’s arms is disturbing and heartbreaking.

But it is important to understand that one needs to move on. A relationship with a human is always variable and not absolute. As Sadhguru says, the need for a relationship is arising because though every individual is a complete life, people are under the illusion that they are half a life that cannot be without another.

Post break up we often get into either self – destructive mode or we try to harm our ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. We need to learn to move forward with our lives with the right mindset, and not continuing drowning ourselves in self-pity and harmful activities.

Steps to get over the break up:

How to manage your thoughts?

• Replace irrational thoughts with rational thoughts.
• Thoughts like my ex-partner need to be punished; he needs to learn a lesson should be altered.
• Don’t assume that you won’t ever get a partner in your life again.
• I failed in this relationship; there is no point in living my life.
• Acknowledge the pain, grief and accept the fact and try to move on.
• Whenever you are reminded of the relationship or ex-partner or painful moments, remind yourself this is temporary and it’s ok to feel this way and you will find someone better in life.

Try to give a different perspective.

• Look for the positive side of why the relationship ended? It is probably better to end now than later as it would hurt more.
• Remind why your relationship didn’t work out. Recollect the time you fought a lot or you were in a long-distance relationship or you couldn’t give the time required or there was too much jealousy/infidelity.
• By analyzing in this way, you know it ended for a positive reason.

Trash all gifts and things that would remind you of him/her.

• Discard the letters, gift cards, photos.
• Do not listen to music or watch movies you watched together.
• Try not to be in touch with common friends (optional).
• Delete the phone number, messages, and emails and do not call back.
• Abstain from being a friend on social media (optional).

Rejuvenate.

• Get back to your hobby class
• Go and do any kind of exercise – hit the gym, do yoga, running whatever suits you.
• Get yourself some spa. Even a haircut does wonders to feel better.
• Go on a short vacation or go for a trek.
• Travel to a place with no wifi and network.
• Do something adventurous. 
• Get into a meditative camp.

Take professional advice.

• After you have done all and are unable to cope up consult a counselor or psychologist.
• Counselors will always give an unbiased opinion.
• They won’t judge you whatsoever.
• They will help you to achieve what you want and challenge the areas and thoughts you have stuck and are unable to move on.

All images are courtesy Pixabay

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli, click here

To learn more about Mentriq click here