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Breakups are tough. Dealing with them isn’t so easy when you love a person so much. It’s all the more difficult to handle when the break up is initiated not by you, but another person. Or you had to separate due to parental or social pressure. The fact that you won’t see your loved one ever again or see your loved one in someone else’s arms is disturbing and heartbreaking.

But it is important to understand that one needs to move on. A relationship with a human is always variable and not absolute. As Sadhguru says, the need for a relationship is arising because though every individual is a complete life, people are under the illusion that they are half a life that cannot be without another.

Post break up we often get into either self – destructive mode or we try to harm our ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. We need to learn to move forward with our lives with the right mindset, and not continuing drowning ourselves in self-pity and harmful activities.

Steps to get over the break up:

How to manage your thoughts?

• Replace irrational thoughts with rational thoughts.
• Thoughts like my ex-partner need to be punished; he needs to learn a lesson should be altered.
• Don’t assume that you won’t ever get a partner in your life again.
• I failed in this relationship; there is no point in living my life.
• Acknowledge the pain, grief and accept the fact and try to move on.
• Whenever you are reminded of the relationship or ex-partner or painful moments, remind yourself this is temporary and it’s ok to feel this way and you will find someone better in life.

Try to give a different perspective.

• Look for the positive side of why the relationship ended? It is probably better to end now than later as it would hurt more.
• Remind why your relationship didn’t work out. Recollect the time you fought a lot or you were in a long-distance relationship or you couldn’t give the time required or there was too much jealousy/infidelity.
• By analyzing in this way, you know it ended for a positive reason.

Trash all gifts and things that would remind you of him/her.

• Discard the letters, gift cards, photos.
• Do not listen to music or watch movies you watched together.
• Try not to be in touch with common friends (optional).
• Delete the phone number, messages, and emails and do not call back.
• Abstain from being a friend on social media (optional).

Rejuvenate.

• Get back to your hobby class
• Go and do any kind of exercise – hit the gym, do yoga, running whatever suits you.
• Get yourself some spa. Even a haircut does wonders to feel better.
• Go on a short vacation or go for a trek.
• Travel to a place with no wifi and network.
• Do something adventurous. 
• Get into a meditative camp.

Take professional advice.

• After you have done all and are unable to cope up consult a counselor or psychologist.
• Counselors will always give an unbiased opinion.
• They won’t judge you whatsoever.
• They will help you to achieve what you want and challenge the areas and thoughts you have stuck and are unable to move on.

All images are courtesy Pixabay

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli, click here

To learn more about Mentriq click here

If you are reading this blog probably you or your closed one has undergone a break up in life and are not able to move on in life. How much ever you try and console yourself that what happened, happened for good but yet you are obsessed with those thoughts which makes your life miserable.

You might have suffered break up’s before but there are some breakups which are hard to move on, let’s understand why?

• You had surrendered yourself totally: You never thought that the relationship would end. Probably your too much involvement has made it difficult for you to come out of the relationship and find yourself. It may take a while to get out, but it’s never impossible.
• You thought he/she was the one: You thought you have found out the “one” you ever wanted. And when the relationship couldn’t be sustained, you feel none could ever match up apart from your ex-partner.
• Your date for long: Naturally, you are more connected when you spend a long number of years in a relationship. It’s difficult to move on immediately but slowly and gradually you will get over.
• You are still in touch with your ex: Through social media or phone or texts, staying in contact with ex-partner you can’t seem to get over is a sign of vulnerability. You might want to get back or maybe you don’t want to get back together but are still in contact — regardless, the simple contact is enough to have you hesitate, compare, or linger on him/her while you’re trying to move on.
• You haven’t got the closure: Breaks ups without closure are the hardest. As you don’t know what went wrong in the relationship. Was it you or was it someone else because of which you were dropped off without any clarification.
• You are comparing: No two individuals are the same. You might be comparing your ex-partner with the one with whom you are newly dating or a previous relationship of how well it ended.
• You are the reason for the break up: Sometimes it’s your guilt that doesn’t let one forget the memories and rather gets attached to the issue.
• You are lonely: Breakups make a person lonely, no matter how occupied you are with job, hobby class, the family you are unable to get over the comfort level you shared with your ex-partner.
• You are depressed and anxious: You constantly worry about what happened to you and how the way your relationship ended and also connecting your future to it by thinking what if a similar thing happens to me again?
• You are catastrophizing: You are blowing out of proportion and hence finding it hard to accept. Breakups happen and some happen for good. You are not looking after the positive aspect of the breaking and focusing only on what you have lost and not what you have gained.

To learn more about Mentriq click here

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here

All images courtesy Pixabay

Breakups have a huge impact on your mind and your physical body. There are feelings of rejection, unwantedness, and loneliness that makes one go in a depressive state. It can have devastating effects on one’s wellbeing. One might not be able to concentrate on their day to day activities such as studying and working. Immense emotional pain can be as harsh as physical pain.

So what are physiological changes that an individual experiences?

• Hormonal imbalance
• Acne
• Weight loss
• Weight gain
• Eating disorder
• All kinds of aches
• Digestion gets disrupted
• Troubled breathing
• Immunity is lowered
• Sleep patterns are hampered

The Psychological changes can be:

• Obsessive thoughts
• Cravings to get back
• Too much stress
• Addiction (drugs/alcohol/smoking)
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Self-confidence shattered
• Lack of self-worth
• Suicidal thoughts
• Lack of Decision making

Why it is so important to take therapy post break up?

If you are not able to move on with the break-up and it is affecting your daily activities and self-confidence then you must approach for professional help. The therapist will analyze your situation with the information you provide and if required may ask a few questions for clarification. Once understood what is bothering you, the therapist would help you to manage the racing and negative thoughts you may have and replace them with positive and rational ones. 

Therapy for Break-up.

A therapist will always be there to listen to you without being judgemental and biased. Friends can also be of great help but when friends get bored with you telling them your same story, again and again; but a therapist is trained to help you to come out of the problem. A therapist helps you to resolve issues you need to change in life for your betterment.

To learn more about Mentriq click here

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here

All images courtesy Pixabay

Play with your Child

Playing is an essential part of every child’s development. Being able to play freely enables your child to gain invaluable life skills, including socialising, learning about themselves and others and discover different ways to do things.

Teach your child to be organised

Teach your children to be organised because it helps cut down on everyone’s stress.  You can help by teaching your child strategies that make staying organised easier and by setting a good example by working to be organised yourself.

Speak softly and gently

Most parents spend a lot of time talking only a few things with their children. Wash your hands, Do your homework, stop that, Go to bed. Getting your child to do something by being gentle is just as easy as yelling and screaming. You can choose to yell, or you can choose to speak calmly. Your child is far more open to hearing from you when you talk in a kind, gentle and respectful way.

Be Patient

In this high –pressured, fast paced, frenetic world, the norm has become to expect things to happen immediately. Most people get really irritated when thing don’t! Unfortunately, the consequences of approaching life like this are that they lose sight of the really important things in life such as their relationship with their children.

Respect privacy and personal space

Everyone likes to have some personal time and a bit of personal space. Kids are no different. Regardless of their ages, they need time to relax, re-energise and be alone.

Tell the Truth

Children need to have a sense of what is right and wrong. If you teach the value of honesty your children at a young age, then it won’t be so difficult to expect that of them when they are older. Telling the truth will just be a habit.

Laugh a lot

Life can be too serious if you are not careful. The bills and the mortgage can get you down. But, for children, life should be full of hope and fun, joy and curiosity. Connect with your young self. Remember how it felt to be young, enthusiastic, hopeful, playful and free from too many responsibilities. Try to feel at ease with your child like self and life in general.

All images are courtesy Pixabay

To learn more about Mentriq click here

Be Loving:

Get rid of that old wives take that hugging them, holding them, telling them you love them is spoiling your children. There are many children who suffered because their parents were too busy, too selfish and too preoccupied to spent time with them.

Mentriq Team talks about 10 Things to do Every Single day as a parent[/caption]

Act as a Role Model:

Have you ever noticed that you have many of the same attitudes, habits and opinions that your parents had when you were growing up- even though you swore you’d do it all differently. Well, that’s because your parents were your first, important role models and you are now the same as your children.

Involve yourself in your child’s Life:

One of the most important things you can do to safeguard your children is to spend time with them. No one ever feels that they have enough time to do the things they have to do. Strong family ties are formed between children and their parents if a little regular daily effort is made to spend time talking, eating and playing together.

Focus on Flexibility:

Your role as a parent changes as your child grows. What worked well when your child was in the nursery doesn’t necessarily work when she reaches junior school-and is likely to outright fail when she enters adolescence.

Set Boundaries and Rules:

The two most important thing children need from their parents are love and structure. Some of the parents don’t want to repeat the strict upbringing that they experienced, so they go the other way and have no rules and boundaries at all. They then wonder why their children don’t listen to or respect them.

Be Consistent:

The biggest single contribution to a kid’s disciplinary problems is inconsistent parenting. The secret of consistency is keeping your expectation clear and always meeting the same behaviour with the same reaction.

Mentriq Team talks about 10 Things to do Every Single day as a parent[/caption]

Encourage Independence:

From the day you play ‘peek-a-boo’ with your baby, you are preparing her for separation from you. From her first day at school, first sleepover and first school trip to France-to the day your daughter leaves home. Good parenting is the step by step process, a gradual moving out into the big world, confident and independent from you.

Firm and Fair in your discipline:

At each stage of your child’s development, you must establish your rules that you expect your child to obey. Your job is to do what best for your child whether she likes or not. Don’t let your toddler blackmail you into buying that ice-cream just before lunch with a screaming tantrum. You are building an adult part of tomorrow ’s future generation –so stand your ground.

Listen to the first talk later:

Listening to the best gift you can give anyone-including your kids. Listening make children feel valued, heard and understood. It makes them feel important.

Respect your child:

Your relationship with your child is the foundation of her relationships with others. If you treat your child with compassion, kindness and respect, she will grow up to be concerned about others, caring, considerate and respectful towards other people.

All Images are from Pixabay

To learn about our founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, click here