All of us have a mental representation of how we look like, however, it might not be actually what others see when they look at you. This is called a Body Image. This image that you have about your body is extremely distorted and is mostly influenced by your attitudes, beliefs, early life experiences, parental influence etc. Consequently, Your attitude i.e, feelings, thoughts and moods are dependent on your Body Image of yourself. This kind of distorted image about body and preoccupation with perfection in bodily features is more common in women than in Men.

If you have a negative representation of your body in your mind, you would suffer from a poor self-esteem, insecurity and this could affect your overall wellbeing. Most of us have a want to alter something about our body or appearance like your nose that is too broad, a birthmark that sits at the center of your face, hairs that are too wavy etc. Some people are completely at peace with any imperfections they have and some people can go to any extent to undo the perceived image through various methods. It is ok if you go through a hair loss treatment or use make-up to hide the imperfections on your face but if you are preoccupied with how bad you appear bodily and experience shame, dissatisfaction, anxiety, and significant discomfort, you suffer from a negative Body Image.

Here are some steps for a Positive Body Image:

Acknowledge what your body does for you

There are a lot of functions that your body does for you other than just looking good and being appreciated for that. Your body takes you from point A to Point B and helps you to fulfill all your dreams. You dance, you run, walk, laugh, breathe because of this physical body.

Do not avoid your Body

If you usually avoid cameras or mirrors because you do not want to get anxious about how bad you look; Stop doing that! Know your body as it is with all the imperfections that it has. Approach mirrors and look at yourself as A whole package and do not just focus on what you don’t like. Accept the reality!

Do not compare

Stop comparing your physical attributes to that of others. It is difficult and automatic in people with a negative body Image but tries to check when you compare, with whom and make a note of every detail. Ask a few questions to yourself like, Is it okay to compare? How do you feel when you do so? What could be a substitute for this that is more realistic and helpful for you?

Make a list

There must be a lot of things that are very positive about you and your body. List them down and read them often; you will find out a lot of positive things that you never knew existed.

Be kind to yourself

Buy clothes that you know would make you look good and do not keep unreasonable expectations about how stylish you have to be. All of us have a style of our own, try to build upon that and work with your body and not against your body. Pamper yourself with a parlor visit, take a bubble bath or nap peacefully for a few extra hours.

Examine your Assumptions

Check what you are assuming as an evidence to support your negative body image and be realistic about the facts. You can discuss with your friends, family or therapist as to what and why you dislike certain things in your body and hear what they have to say about it. Change these assumptions and replace them with reasonable thoughts.

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The meaning of the word Resilience is to recoil or rebound. Resilience is your ability to come out of difficult times and overcome challenging times. Some people are born more resilient and some are not. However, Resilience can be taught and learned.

The virtue of Resilience will serve you well, once you have become an expert in it. You can always bring up experiences from your past, both emotional and physical to manage your difficult situations. One of the most important ingredients for becoming more resilient is to be more adaptable and flexible. You should be creative enough to imagine more possibilities so that you can expand and grow as a person.

Here are some of the ways you can build your resilience:

Accept Change

You have to accept that everything changes, and you will always be challenged by life by difficult times, obstacles both from outside and within yourself. It is important for you to know at such times that you have the capacity to meet all the challenges you face with confidence and determination.

Stop Your Negative thoughts

It is easier said than done. When you can keep a check on your negative thoughts, you can take positive actions. Negative thoughts will keep you anxious and worried. We generally fear that the worst of our fears will come true and if we think about all the things that can go wrong, we can get a solution. We are often just caught in the cycle of negative thinking and no action.  Break the cycle by shifting your thoughts to a positive or neutral one. Go for exercise, or walk, meditate, pray or engage in a creative activity. Break the loop of the record that plays negative repetitively and know that your thoughts are in your control.

Know your-self

Make a list of your strengths, accomplishments and accolades and do not take them for granted. Acknowledge that your are a sum of all these and you should believe that these qualities will stand with you through crisis and challenges. If you have faith that you will be able to face any challenge, you will!

Be a Solution- finder

Put your situations in perspective. You should learn to see any crisis and difficulty in context to the bigger portrait of Life . Understand and give thought as to  how this situation that you are preoccupied with currently, look in the bigger broader perspective of Life.

Have personal connections

This wil give you the support you need to get through life’s challenges. Have caring and reliable people, who can listen to you, advice you and do not make you feel lonely. These people will be your cheerleaders, supporters, and advocates who raise you when you are Low.

Take care of yourself

You often neglect yourself when worried, stressed and going through rough times. In contrast, it is essential to take more care of your mental and Physical health. Take time to meditate or just sit for 15 minutes when your mind is racing with thoughts and try to see the Reality.

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Diwali is around the corner and all of us are busy cleaning our homes and throwing out Clutter. This is one time of the year when everything sparkles, shines and lights up. Most of you must have experienced the uneasiness of a cluttered kitchen or messy workstation. Clutter builds up a lot of stress and this is now backed by science too that there are some major mental health benefits of decluttering.

Let us find out how decluttering can help:

Concentration is Improved

A study has found out that if you live in a physically cluttered place, you are more distracted and multitask more often. This will result in poor performance and high stress. If you have a cabinet full of organized boxes and stacked documents, you will be experiencing less frustration and improved focus. When you have a better focus, you can tackle all big and small jobs with better efficiency.

You are in a Better Mood

Staying in a cluttered space can make up feel overly irritated because your brain will process this as a situation in which you have a life that is scattered. It makes you feel sad. Decluttering your space will give you a real sense of achievement. A study has also found out that there is a correlation between cortisol levels and the number of objects in your home. The number of objects you have, the more stress you will experience.

Positive self-esteem

When you declutter, you have a lot of portion that you have to donate or recycle. Both these activities of donating and recycling will boost your self-esteem and increase positivity. Organizing and decluttering will also improve you as a person and improve your relationships.

Ignite creativity

In yet another study, it was found that if you stay in a clean and minimalist environment, you can be more creative. When you work in a clean, neat and organized environment, your creative juices start to flow. You can improve skills like writing, music or art more in a decluttered space. You will create a lot of space in your head and there is a chance that you will come out with your next big-idea soon.

Have a better sleep

You will have a problem with sleeping if you sleep in a messy room, more chances are that you will have disturbed and interrupted sleep. Your mind will never be at rest.

Increases Self-efficacy

When you declutter your space,you are making multiple descisions and solving several problems where you have organize your stuff in a specific space. It will test your reasonableness and quick descision making about whether you want to keep or discard an item. This will  make you more confident  in descision making.

If you have a lot of clutter around your home and workspace, most likely you are a hoarder and it is very difficult for you to throw away clutter; But The advantages of organizing and having a clutter-free space outweighs the negatives if any.

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 ” Marriage is a long term-commitment where both the partners are willing to give whatever it takes to reach their goal of a Happy Marriage. Happy marriages do not happen by fluke but take a lot of effort”. 

Here are a few steps you can take to reach towards your goal of a Happy Marriage:

Remind yourself and your partner that you appreciate them.

Every Relationship is going to fade out ultimately in time if a little effort is not put into it. The first step is to appreciate each other for even small things that remain unnoticed otherwise.

Most of the marriages that don’t last are because of emotional dissatisfaction and not just physical relationships. When you don’t feel connected, there are high chances that you would be lured into lustful glances from another women/ Man and vice- versa.

Practice “Thank You “

In a long-term relationship usually, couples start taking each other for granted and that is one of the reasons they lose respect for each other. There is a certain expectation that is set and you need to abide by it. Sometimes you don’t care even if your partner goes beyond his/her comfort to do something special.

There is a need to express gratitude for even smaller things. I think it is a great way to keep that spark in your marriage. Do not keep scores of whatever both of you do for each other or the family. It is not a mature way to handle. These kinds of behaviors eventually reduce the trust and connection that you have built.

Honesty is the best policy…

Its okay if you have maxed out a credit card or two, but hiding that from your wife/husband is not the right thing to do. Overspending can be a problem and many times the financial crisis can come back to bite you. It is always good to talk to each other and cut down on your expenses for that period.

If you are planning a trip you can always communicate that it is not gonna work because you have already so many liabilities. It just does not apply for money, it also does for other important things in life.

Don’t  let go on the appearance

In the long run, usually people let their appearances slide, and that could unknowingly impact your marriage as well. Always think about your first date with her and think whether you would feel okay to meet her in your jammies and sweatshirt? Try to be presentable. Pay courtesy to your spouse by making yourself look good like you do for your friends.

You should also try to compliment each other once in a while in a marriage, It boosts confidence and improves intimacy.

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Dysania is also referred to as clinomania; It is a condition in which you find it very difficult to get out of the bed and take that important first step every day. People with Dysania feel tired even after  8-10 hours of sleep on a regular basis and some people experience racing thoughts just to come out of the bed.

Symptoms:

• After a day at work, you want to directly go to bed, without having food or even coffee although you are very hungry.
• You are obsessed with sleep, which is impacting your interpersonal relationships.
• In spite of trying a lot and gathering all of your confidence to make a change in this direction, you are not able to break the pattern. You have tried to change time and again but failed.
• Sleep is always on your mind and you can trade off your quality time with your partner with sleep.
• Sleeping is more than just resting for you. You use sleep to escape your emotional up-downs. Every time you meet with a negative emotion like sadness, loneliness etc you go to sleep.
• You are habitually late for work because you find it very difficult to get out of bed, you have even missed interviews for the same reason.
• You have your best intentions to get out of bed and have an exciting day but any small excuse is good to keep you in bed for a few extra minutes, which eventually becomes a few hours and then days.

Self  Help:

• Have scheduled sleeping hours(ideally 7-8 hours a day)
• Go for a walk however difficult it may seem
• Drink a lot of water to stay hydrated; You will be less drowsy
• Grab a healthy Breakfast so that you can start the day on a good note
• Try to avoid caffeine before your sleep hours.

Seek professional help if these self-help techniques do not provide any relief; It may be necessary to investigate further in order to rule out a primary sleep disorder such as sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome. Talking with your health care provider about strategies to get more restful sleep and minimize side effects from medications can make a world of difference in how you start the day.

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What is a Toxic Relationship?

The foundation of a healthy relationship is mutual admiration and respect, but in a toxic relationship, this severely deteriorates over a course of time. Staying in such relationships for any duration could be unhealthy and quite unproductive. A toxic relationship is not productive for any of the partners.

Signs that show you are in a Toxic Relationship….

• You find yourself mentally, emotionally and also possibly physically drained.
• “Trust” is the major foundation of any healthy relationship. When trust is lost, you must be alarmed that the relationship is not going anywhere.
• Unhealthy and inappropriate Anger is one of the symptoms of a toxic relationship.
• Don’t be a judge for your partner, it could often go in directions you wouldn’t want it to be.
• Communication is the key to a successful relationship, but in a toxic relationship, the partners stop talking to each other.
• Disrespecting each other whenever you get a chance.
• Avoiding each other,  Not supporting each other, and dramatic upheavals

Coming out of a Toxic Relationship –

• Always remind yourself that the person you are with today might not be the right one for you, i.e., He/she might not suit your lifestyle, but he/she might turn out great for someone else and the same applies to you.
• Maybe both the people in relationship settle for a deal that involves minimum contact with each other. Introduce some space. Time always helps to decide, and when you have time completely to yourself it is much better.
• Never underestimate yourself and know who you are. You need to understand what you have to offer in a personal and professional relationship.
• If you are in a toxic marital relationship, share what you are going through with a family member or close friend.
• When you have decided to come out of the toxic marriage or relationship, take all safety measured required so that the other party cannot influence or harm you in any way. The best way to do this is by taking someone in your confidence and maintaining a safe distance. You can also inform local authorities if things seem going out of your hand.

Time to ask for help 

It is always good to work on a relationship that is negative if both of you are committed to making it better.  This is the time when either of you could seek professional help. You might also reach out to a counsellor individually or as a couple to sort out things. As a counsellor would have dealt with such problems before he/she might know the discreet entities that could/would be damaging the relationship beyond expectation. It is always recommended to visit a counselor as that could really help you revive the relationship if there is any scope or part ways if need be.

Read Also Mental Abuse

Post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD is the failure to recover after having a first-hand experience or just witnessing a Life-threatening or terrifying event.

Although the feelings of fear are natural after a Traumatic event and everyone has a range of experiences after the trauma, People generally recover from these immediate symptoms naturally without any help. Some continue to experience these initial symptoms for a prolonged period of time and develop PTSD.  Fear triggers split-second changes in the body to help defend against danger or to avoid it completely. Hence, When you are faced with a fearful situation, your brain goes into the “flight or fight” mode which is to typically protect a person from harm; However, When your body is in this alarm mode, you are under extreme stress. Likewise In PTSD, the person’s brain has these experiences even in a safe environment where they are not exposed to any danger.

 PTSD Symptoms Include 

Intrusive memories

• Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event
• Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks)
• Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event
• Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event

Negative changes in thinking and mood

• Negative thoughts about yourself, other people or the world
• Hopelessness about the future
• Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event
• Difficulty maintaining close relationships
• Feeling detached from family and friends
• Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed

Avoidance

• Try to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event
• Avoid places, activities or people that remind you of the traumatic event

Physical and emotional reaction Change 

• You get easily startled or frightened, hence a change in arousal
• You are on guard for danger
• Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast
• Trouble sleeping and consequently poor quality of sleep

Get Help:

After surviving a traumatic event, you might have PTSD-like symptoms at first, like the inability to pause your thoughts about what happened and experience the fear, anxiety, anger, depression or guilt associated with that. Hence, Support from a mental health professional may help to prevent your loved one or you to avoid any unhealthy coping mechanism which often includes Drug Abuse.

Also, read about Substance Abuse

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Agoraphobia is the fear situations where escape could be difficult, or you doubt that you would not receive any help if you are in trouble. It is a kind of Anxiety disorder. Most of the people having this Phobia develop it only after having more than one panic attacks. Hence, you avoid places where you might have had a panic attack in the past or feel that you will get one.

You might worry about Public transportation, Open and large spaces like bridges or parking spaces, Enclosed spaces like stores or movie theatres, crowded places and traveling alone. As a result of these fears you just go to a limited number of places so that you can cut down on the number of panic attacks.

These are some of the Symptoms you might observe in a Person suffering from Agoraphobia:

The physical symptoms

Symptoms are Similar to a  panic attack

• Increase in Heart Beat
• Fast and shallow breathing (hyperventilating)
• Pain in the Chest area
• Inability to swallow (dysphagia)
• Diarrhea

The cognitive symptoms

The cognitive symptoms are generally a result of your thoughts regarding your past experiences of a panic attack.

• You fear a panic attack because it causes embarrassment
• You fear that your heart will stop or you will not be able to breathe
• Fear that you might lose your  sanity
• You have a fear of Losing control in public places

The Behavioural symptoms

• You Avoid situations that could lead to a panic attack, like crowded places, public transport, and queues
• Inability to leave the house for long periods of time
• You need to be with someone you trust when you are going anywhere
• Avoid being far away from home
• Some people are able to force themselves to confront uncomfortable situations, but they feel considerable fear and anxiety while doing so.

Treatment:

All kinds of Phobias can be treated with Psychotherapy. Therefore, Visit An expert to understand, manage and overcome Agoraphobia.

How to manage your Symptoms :

• Have a plan for management and stick to that
• Learn to stay calm in these extreme situations
• Face your fears
• Stay away from recreational drugs and alcohol
• Do physical activity, have a balanced diet, and get enough sleep

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All of us want to better ourselves as an Individual, but we are often convinced that it is not possible to become better once we are into adulthood. But, that is not true, there is always a scope for more improvement. We will get into the details of what are the cardinal steps to become a better person, but it is important that we  always have the best interests of others in mind along with our own well-being

Learn to manage your Anger

All of us experience anger on a daily basis,but if it goes out of control, it can ruin your interpersonal relationships and play havoc with your health. The first step to manage your anger is to acknowledge that you are angry instead of denying it. Notice what is making you angry and why it is making you angry. There is a difference between feeling anger and acting angry; Recognize that! Try to accept that there are many sides to a story, for example,e if your friend acted rudely with you, try to find out if everything is going good in his life or not. He may be having a tough time and it is not about you at all. Try to change your thoughts about the object of your anger.

You can also practice mindfulness to manage anger; Do not carry leftover resentments and grudges from yesterday into your present. Forgive! It will do tremendous good to you .” Let go of the control of your past over your present”.

Help others

This is an obvious route that you take to become a better person! Helping others increases your good deeds list. Apart from this obvious reason research has found that altruism has a direct connection to feeling happy and adds to your emotional well-being. You feel better when you give than when you receive, and research has proven that. It makes you feel good about yourself and also relieves stress. You experience personal growth, increase in confidence, self-esteem, become more self-aware, and ward off depression. The best part is you can practice it anywhere, right now.

Analyze and utilize your Strengths

When you do activities that you love to do, it is fulfilling and you experience what is called “ Flow”. You experience flow when the activity that you are doing supplies you with the right mix of challenge and ease; Flow is the best state to be in because when you feel too challenged, you are under stress and when what you are doing is too easy, you feel bored. Try to find out what activities make you experience this state and do more of these.

We achieve a long-lasting fulfilling life only when we live a life that has a purpose, compassion for others and Altruism. An unanalyzed life will take you everywhere without reaching anywhere. Be there for others, help whenever and however you can, Love the differences you share with others.

 Be the greatest and the best version of yourself!

Also, read our blog on improving your  Mental Health!

A lot of us have a Sociopath in our life whom we have hired, are dating, is married to or are in a deal with; Take a brief look at some of the characteristics to look for in a Sociopath below:

1)Lack of Stable friendships

Balanced and normal people have a range of friends from different phases in their life like school friends, office colleagues or ex-office colleagues, college friends, neighborhood friends etc. Sociopaths do not have long-term stable friends; He/she will drive people away by their strange behavior patterns.

2)Can’t Love

Your sociopath lover/friend/boss is incapable of Love. Being in love is to give up a part of yourself emotionally and they can’t do that. Although they are good at faking all kinds of emotions to achieve what they need.

3)Narcissistic Traits

Sociopaths love themselves; Whatever they do is to serve their own purpose in some way. They have a big and inflated sense of “I” and a tendency to think of their own selves in a grandiose way.

4) No empathy or guilt

Sociopaths completely lack the understanding that their actions can impact others. Although it is not due to the reason that they can’t see it, its more like they don’t care about it. Since sociopaths can’t feel emotions, they are free to pursue any goal in a manner they like, without a second thought.

5) Compulsive Lying

A sociopath will tell you exciting stories about their lives and themselves and all of them would be lies. Surprisingly, you will believe in all of them due to their charming nature. A sociopath is so disillusioned with their own lies that they actually start to believe them. They take a lot of spontaneous risks too and might look very fearless to you.

6) Charming and Intelligent

Sociopaths have a very charming aura that makes people get attracted to them. They would be probably the center of the party or gathering. Especially, if they find you of use, they would be utterly charming towards you.  To add to this attraction is their high IQ which means that they are well versed in a variety of subjects. They can manipulate you very intelligently so that they keep their power over you.

Keep these points in mind when you are dating, hiring, firing, getting married or having a long-term association with someone whose behavior is confusing you and you cannot put a finger on what is going wrong. Trust your emotions around the person!

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