When it comes to time, we are all given the same package of 24 hours every day. Yet it seems like some people have double the time. They get multiple things done at the same time, juggling between several projects and reach their goal on or before time.

How do some people become so productive?

One obvious answer would be that they value their time. Hence, they are hell-bent on squeezing out every bit each hour without giving much extra effort. Mr. Warren Buffet once said that he keeps a few days in his schedule diary totally empty.These are the days when it has no appointments or meetings; On being asked about how he manages to have so much free time in spite of the stature he holds.He replied saying “ I can buy anything I want with the money, but I cannot buy Time with money”.

Ultra-productive people know this, and therefore they use hacks that could increase their productivity.

Here are some of them that you can put to use:

End the Tyranny of Urgency

Do not engage yourself in putting off the fire when you are building momentum on things that really matter.Productive people are good at spotting these tasks and delegating them to others.These little things eat up your time and distract you from things that really matter.

Do not touch the same thing twice

By this I mean, Productive people do not put things on hold. If you have to come back to the same work twice, it is a waste of precious time.Do not put an email in a draft or a phone call for tomorrow. Whenever you spot a work that is to be done, delegate it or delete it.

Eat Frogs

“Eating a frog” is an antidote to procrastination and productive people eat frogs as an appetizer every morning. In other words, do the most dreadful and monotonous work first every day.This technique keeps you free for the rest of the day to do work that gives you inspiration.

Do not multitask

Do you feel you can multi-task very efficiently? Then this might be a spoiler for you.A recent research has found that people who multitask are less productive than people who do one thing at a time.Frequent multitaskers are even worse than people who do one single task at a time. People who multi-task have a lot of trouble organizing their thoughts and filtering out irrelevant information.

Get ready for tomorrow before you leave office

Prepare for the next day to be more productive.This practice will solidify what you have accomplished and will also make your tomorrow productive.It is a great way to end your day.

Stick to the schedule of the meeting

Meetings are a big waste of time.If you let a meeting to drag, it can go on forever, so inform everyone attending the meeting to stick to the schedule.This will motivate others also to be more focused and efficient.

Keep a designated time to check your email and phone

Do not let email or mobile notification interrupt you constantly.Use autoresponders to reply emails stating people when you will reply back.Set alerts and pop up features for the most important vendors.

Say ‘no’ Often

Avoid phrases like “ I don’t know” or “ I am not certain”.Say NO more often. When you say No to further commitments, you give honor to your existing commitments. It will lower down stress, burnout, and even depression.Saying No will lift your mood and increase Productivity.

Mentriq by Dr. Prerna Kohli, is India’s top Mental Health Counseling Provider. To learn more about Mentriq click here

Dr. Prerna Kohli is India’s topmost Psychologist; she has been recognized and awarded by the President of India. To learn more about Dr. Kohli click here

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Sex addiction is the Umbrella term and Porn Addiction is a subset of the same.So, It refers to a range of behaviors that are done in excess and have a negative impact on Your day to day life.

Let us look at the issue statistically:

It was found that

• 1 out of 5 searches on mobile phones are related to pornography
• 20 percent men admit watching pornographic videos at work
• 88 percent of the porn clips portray physical aggression and
• 49 percent contain verbal aggression.

There is a lot of ongoing debate on whether watching porn is healthy or unhealthy, with no clear answers. Some communities and experts opine that watching porn in any quantity is unhealthy whereas others suggest that there are healthy doses of porn that actually impact positively. As with all kinds of addiction, there is an emotional pain that the addict tries to evade and it opens its way to dependence on something else.

The stages of porn addiction

Initial Exposure: Guys get exposed to porn at a very early age. You find it exciting and the ideas make an impression on your mind and give you a high similar to that of dopamine.

Addiction: This is the second phase. You start coming back to porn and it becomes a part of your life.

Escalation: In this stage, you crave for more and look for alternative sources where you can get more graphical porn.

Desensitisation: Since you start to eventually become numb. Hence, the best graphic, exciting and innovative porn also doesn’t give you the same high and you become anxious.

Acting out in real: This is a dangerous jump many men take. Here, they shift from paper and graphic images to porn in the real world.

Signs of Porn Addiction

• Viewing excess pornography. Since excess is subjective; if it starts impacting your life or someone else’s life, it is a red flag.
• Watching patterns that interfere with your day to day functioning and responsibilities.
• You spend a lot of time on finding more and more stimulating types of pornography.
•  Experience emotional distress, and withdrawal symptoms when you cannot watch porn.
•  You do not stop using pornography in spite of serious consequences like loss of job, loss of a relationship, contracting sexually transmitted disease etc.
• Masturbating compulsively, leading to sexual dysfunction.
• You watch porn to alter your mood states like anxiety, negative emotions or sadness.

If you feel that you are experiencing any of the symptoms above, speak to a healthcare professional. He can better understand your behaviors and suggest treatment options.

To take a free online test for sex addiction click here

To Learn more about Mentriq

All pictures courtesy Pixabay

You are obsessed with happiness, and it eludes you at every step.

If you see the commercials on the television or all the products that are marketed to you; You will find one common product that all of them are selling is  “ Happiness”.

How do you find happiness and sustain it?

In a recent Research on happiness, it was found that all of us have a “Set Point”. When you buy a dream house, dream car or lose a job, there is an increase /decrease in the happiness but later you drop down to your “ set point”.

The astonishing breakthrough that the research made is that you can make yourself happy, permanently. Your genetics contribute 50 percent to the set point,10 percent is determined by life events and as much as 40 percent is completely on us. A large portion of your happiness depends on your habits, attitude, and outlook.

So, this finding also suggests that whatever you achieve in life, that happiness is not going to last forever. Happiness, therefore, is not a place that you can reach but a journey you have to take. Happiness is rooted in your daily habits, and not in an extraordinary moment of achievement.

Adopting a new habit like, being optimistic or having a positive attitude is hard, but eliminating negative habits can put your “set point” in order.

Vaccinated to Awe

Every day there are moments in your daily life that amaze you, especially in today’s technology-driven world.You should know where to look for those awe-inspiring moments. These moments make us humble and remind us that the universe is limitless and we are not the center of it. You should not allow these moments to slip off your shoulder.

Making yourself alone

Your first reaction when unhappy is to make yourself alone but it is the worst thing to do in such circumstances. Every one of us will experience days when we just want to hide under the sheets instead take the harder way. Go out and socialize. It will make the difference right away.

Blame others

You are happy when you are in control of your life and circumstances, but when you blame someone you give up your control to someone else. This is detrimental to the feelings of happiness and is bad for your mood. Blaming is giving someone else the control on your life.

Control others

You have to be in control of your life to be happy, but if you try to be happy by controlling others it can take you in the opposite direction. You should only try to control yourself to avoid nagging others. Controlling someone requires you to apply some amount of force or fear even if for a short term which will make you feel negative about yourself.

Criticize others

Judging others or criticizing is an indulgence which you would love to do but later feel guilty. All of us understand that criticizing is a bad habit though it makes us feel better momentarily unless you are a sociopath. Speaking ill of others creates a negative spiral.

Complain about things

The worst part about this is that it drives people away from you. It is a self-reinforcing behaviour. If you keep thinking about the bad state of affairs, you will reaffirm your negative beliefs. Talking about what bothers you is therapeutic and makes you feel better whereas complaining does the opposite.

Impressing others

Do not try to impress people with your car, house, dress or other material things. It is a futile endeavour. There are a lot of researchers that show that material things cannot make you happy. Find people who accept and like you for what you are.

Negative thoughts

Pessimism and negative thinking is an absolute waste of time. Even when the worst things are happening to you, there will be at least one positive thing to focus on. Pessimistic thoughts are irrational and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you are expecting bad things, you will most likely get bad things. Instead, choose to look at the facts behind your negative thinking.

Comparing your life to others on social media

What you see on social media is far from reality. The filtered images, lovely vacations and exciting lives that people want to portray is not real. A recent research on happiness and Facebook suggested that people who stayed away from facebook reported lower levels of sadness and higher levels of satisfaction than people who continued using Facebook.

Not  setting  goals

Goals give you hope to look forward to future. Set goals that are challenging to you and backed by your values. If you do not set goals, you will move around in all directions wondering why you are stuck and things do not change for you.

Not facing fears

Fear is just an emotion that you have imagined and blown out of proportion. It is just a negative emotion, while danger is real. You can make a choice here; Get addicted to the feeling of euphoria that you will get once you conquer your fear head-on.

Ditching  the present

The past and the future are just chemicals in your brain in the form of memory and expectancies. No amount of guilt can change your past and likewise, no amount of anxiety can change your future. Just focus on your present, the moment on which you have control. Reality is the present; you have to be here to embrace your full potential.

Accept whatever happened in your past.

Accept the future with all its uncertainties. 

Sexual harassment at workplace is becoming a serious problem. The problem is also, the negative attention that it gets from everyone. Moreover, the problem with such troubles of intimate nature is that it comes with a lot of taboo.Sexual harassment will cost you, your peace of mind and productivity.The cases are under-reported due to fear of being Labelled in the workplace.

What is Sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment is any physical contact, advances, request or order of sexual favors; making remarks that are sexually colored, using pornography or any other “Unwelcome”. Similarly, Physical, non-verbal, verbal conduct which is sexual in nature.

Hence,“ Unwelcome” is a very important word in defining sexual harassment. Since, Tolerance is different for different people, if it makes you uncomfortable at a verbal, visual, physical, or psychological level you need to raise an alarm.Understand that if someone touches you over your clothing, it is a sexual assault. If an initially harmless remark does crude and has sexual innuendos attached; So, you should stop it before it escalates.

Likewise, here’re are a few steps you can take to protect yourself from all the emotional and psychological stress that comes with sexual harassment:

1)Confront the person who is harassing you:

Face the harasser, look them straight in the eye and let them know that you did not like what they did.Try to be specific and blunt and do not think about appearing rude to the other person.Also, this is the best step to handle it at your own level.

2)  Put it down on document or report immediately:

If you could not improve the situation by doing step one, document the particulars of the event and the response of the harasser. If it happens again to someone else at the workplace or with you, a reference will be available.

3) Report Immediately, if someone is touching you :

Not to mention, if the touch is sexual or if there is demand for sex, you should inform it immediately to the management.

4)Take action by yourself:

If you feel, you have been sexually assaulted, you can call the police and report the crime. Do not let your guilt or desire to protect the abuser misguide you.Moreover, accept first that you have done nothing wrong and if you report, these kinds of instances can be avoided in future.

5)Take the help of law:

After you have reported a harassment case, if you lose your job or are demoted; take legal help.Let the law investigate and take steps for you.

6)Find Support:

Victims of sexual harassment blame themselves very often in some way or the other. If you feel traumatized, depressed and unable to carry on with your daily life, join a support group or Professional Counseling. Also, you will eventually feel powerful if you decide to act proactively and end sexual harassment.

Whether you Choose to agree or disagree, it is a fact that your Job takes a huge part of your Life. We spend more time in our jobs than our families. If your Job satisfies your needs, is rewarding and makes you joyful, it is absolutely worth the time. But a bad Job could be a sink of your happiness and peace of mind. It is more similar to a Bad Marriage.

Let us Find out How?

You do not get the attention you desire:

Your supervisors or boss does not give you the right kind and right amount of attention you seek. Your supervisor does not provide you with enough information, does not answers your questions and gives zero feedback when you absolutely need it. This situation is similar to a spouse ignoring the other partner and zero interaction in times of need.

Your boss does not recognize your contribution:

Partners in a bad marriage do not acknowledge each other’s contributions and sacrifices.

You hope it is the best, but settle:

Very often a bad job or a bad relationship is an outcome of settling down with whatever you get as a result.This in Psychological terms is called “ Satisficing” Which is thinking that a situation is just  good enough” (It is not great!)

You want growth, but your efforts are restrained:

Everyone is not lazy or demotivated to work. You want to learn new skills, take additional responsibilities but the company does not support you. If you have an overcontrolling partner,he/she does the same. They kill your creativity and novelty.

You handle a lot of the Pressure:

A common element is broken teams /partnerships is an imbalance in the way people contribute. If you contribute more than other partners and do not get the same kind of commitment from the other people, it will make you resentful and you will start to hold back.

There is a lot of Negativity:

A good job like a marriage is an important relationship in your life and both of them should bring in a lot of positive emotions. Bad job and marriage instead bring a host of negativity including anger, resentment, sadness, and boredom.

You feel “ locked-up”:

You often stick to a bad job or relationship when you feel you have no alternatives with you; become emotionally or financially dependent and are always dwindling between whether you should leave or work harder to make the situation become liveable.

Do you often feel like not getting up from bed to face the day? Then most likely either the problem is your Job or your Interpersonal relationships.

If I tell you to practice one thing that requires just 10 seconds of your day to become richer, lower your stress and increase your metabolism. Would you believe? Take this away then; Sleeping without clothes can do all this for you. The only effort you need to make is to strip-off your clothes before you jump into the bed.

Only 8% of the people sleep naked. This may sound unreal but have patience till you get to the end of the article.

You get better sleep

When you sleep, your brain is actively removing toxic proteins from the neurons that are accumulated throughout the day. The toxins are removed adequately only when you get quality sleep. If the toxic proteins are not removed, your ability to think is impaired.

Reduces stress

Prolonged stress damages your immunity by producing excess cortisol in your body. It increases your risk of heart disease, depression, anxiety, obesity etc. Proper sleep helps restore the cortisol levels. Sleeping naked decreases the temperature of the body. When the body is cooler, you wake up less and the quality of sleep becomes better.

Sleeping naked makes you healthy

When the body temperature is lower, the metabolism revs up due to the production of more brown fat. Brown fat is produced to keep you warm. It produces heat and burns more calories. Helps you in losing weight. Better sleep will improve your blood circulation, produce growth hormones and melatonin which are also known to produce anti-ageing effects.

It builds your confidence

Confidence is a key component in deciding your success. It moves you to try new ventures, muster challenges and build perseverance in the face of difficulties. If you are confident you earn more and get promoted more often than your counterparts. Sleeping without clothes makes you comfortable in your body and increases your self-esteem.

Who is the most important person in your life? Your spouse, parents, children or a friend. If you reflect on this question, you will identify that it is your boss.

You spend 50 percent of your productive time daily with your boss.If this significant relationship is under stress. Other relations also suffer.

Difficult bosses contaminate your life and your workplace. Some of the bosses have no idea what harm they are doing and some do it in a carefully planned manner. In movies, the bad boss is a comic role but in real life; there is no comedy about it.

These people create stress that impairs your work and decreases productivity.Many studies have found having a bad boss increases your chances of having a heart attack by almost 60%.

The best option to avoid a bad boss is to search for another employment.But this is not always possible.You have to learn to neutralize the bad effects caused by this person. Identify the kind of boss you have to solve tackle them intelligently.

The Tyrant

This person uses Machiavellian tactics and makes decisions that can feed his pride.He has an uncontrollable need for power and uses intimidation to make others work for him.

The Micromanager

This person will make you feel that you are under constant surveillance.They give attention to the finest details, which makes you feel discouraged, frustrated and very uncomfortable.

The Incompetent

This person was made the boss by the result of a hasty promotion or haphazard hiring.The person lacks the capabilities for the position that he holds.The people who report to them are much more skilled than him.

The not appropriate buddy

This person is too friendly but not in a happy way.He does not know teambuilding and engages in gossip.He uses favoritism to build teams. Causes frustration among employees.He is bad at making tough decisions.

The Robot

This person just looks at numbers to decide who is valuable to the company and who is not.He has all calculations in mind regarding the productivity of each employee.He put a lot of pressure on you to perform.

The Seagull

These bosses interact with their subordinates when there is an emergency.They bring a storm; pile up with formulaic advice and then leave.They never think about their approach.

The visionary

The strength of this person lies in bringing new ideas and innovation. They cannot concentrate on one task that is at hand.By the time you come to execute the idea; the boss has taken off on another idea.You need to figure things out on your own.

Identifying the problem is fifty percent of the solution.Once identified, a solution can be reached faster.

A cognitive bias is an error in reasoning, evaluation, and memory.  It is a systematic malfunction in the process of thinking. You remember an event based on the way your memory functions, which often lead to biased thoughts and decision making. Some cognitive biases are related to problems in attending to details. You have to be really selective in what you pay attention to Since it is a limited resource. This often leads subtle biases to creep in, influencing how you see and think about the world.

Cognitive bias occurs when you hold onto your preferences and beliefs regardless of contradictory information.

How do these biases work?

A brain is a powerful machine but it is also subject to limitations. Cognitive biases make the complex work of brain simple by processing the information in speed. Hence, they aid us in making quicker decisions and reach conclusions faster. While making decisions or judgments about your world, you try to be objective, think logical and evaluate all information that is available to you. But, these biases often lead to poor decisions.

Some of them are discussed below to keep you out of the trap in future:

The Bandwagon Effect.

This is the tendency to follow what other people are doing. People stop exploring various options and go with the idea that is first put on the table. Doing what everyone is doing makes us feel good, even if they are bad alternatives.

 Planning Fallacy.

The tendency of thinking that we can do things quicker than we can actually. This leads to procrastination and incomplete work.

The ostrich effect.

This is exactly what the name means. You hide your face in the ground (not literally) when faced with a scary situation rather than facing it head-on. When you receive a negative reaction in relations or at work, you just push the problems away.

Confirmation bias.

It is very common. It’s the tendency to seek information which can support our already existing beliefs. What happens here is you first form opinions and seek evidence later. Whereas the case should be that we base all our opinions on facts.

Attribution error.

This is when you attribute a situational behavior of a person to his personality. There could be various other reasons for a person’s poor work performance but the most commonly attributed factor is often “laziness”.

Conservatism bias.

What happens here is that already existing information takes priority over new information. Do not reject an idea quickly just because it is different than your beliefs or are radical.

Lastly, when you start feeling that you have mastery over biases, you are in all probability experiencing blind spot bias. When you start to find biases in others and not in yourself; it’s blind spot bias.

Recognition of biases is invaluable as it enables us to think objectively and makes the communication effective.

Low emotional intelligence impacts a wide range of Relationships. Some of the experts have also suggested that IQ is less important than Emotional Intelligence to determine the success of a person.

When you broke into an argument with someone else because you felt the other person did not understand you. Or the other person said that you do not understand them. In both these cases what was the underlying reason? This is what Emotional Intelligence is all about.

This trait of emotional intelligence can be a significant determiner of how we interact with others. If you are someone with low emotional intelligence, engaging in social life is difficult and frustrating.

Classic indicators of Low EQ:

Getting into a lot of arguments

You must have met someone who has arguments with others. People low on EQ do not understand how others feel. They end up in fights without any consideration.

They have no idea about how others around them feel

Low EQ people are most of the time unaware of what others are feeling. So, they do not understand the notion that their partners or co-workers could be angry at them. Emotions irritate them a lot. Hence, they get irritated by the idea that people around them have the need to be understood.

Low EQ people think that others are very sensitive

These people will often crack jokes at the most unusual moment. Also, they might crack a joke at the funeral ceremony of someone. It is natural for people to react sensitively to these jokes. Hence, the Low EQ person then assumes that other people are very sensitive.

They have a hard time maintaining friendships

Long-term close friendships need mutuality, emotional sharing, compassion, etc. These things are lacking in individuals with low EQ. Since, they often become rash; which is often the reason they lack meaningful relations.

They have sudden outbursts of emotions

The regulation of emotions is bad in them. These people struggle to control and understand their own emotions. They tend to have overblown and uncontrollable outbursts.

Blame others for their own mistakes

Since these people have little to no insight of how their emotions can cause problems. Their first response is to blame others. They blame situations and people for their actions. As, they do not take responsibility, and that makes them feel victimized and negative.

Hence, emotional intelligence can make your life go haywire. You will encounter problems in all areas of your life; including work, personal relationships etc. So, If you understand that your emotional intelligence needs a little workup. visit a therapist.
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Technology has made our lives easier, and one of the best inventions of technology has been the cellular phone. It is an indispensable part of our life now. They entertain you, connects you, informs you and aids in exploring your passions. Smartphones are our daily bread now!

Phones should help make your lives easier and not become the center of your life. A recent research found out that for smartphone users a majority of their problematic behaviors are responses that are mindless and for some, it is a bad habit that they need to overcome. Environmental control, behavioral nudges and mindfulness help in breaking this habit.

Important Findings of the Study were:

Importance of Phone: One-third of the participants give priority to their phones rather than the people they care about and wish to spend time with.

Factors of Generation: More intense issues were among the young people. Gen Z described their best friend to be their smartphone.

People seek Help: Participants want someone to help them with Phone-life balance. More than 60 percent of the respondents want to get the maximum out of their phone time and also from their life out of the phone.

They want to separate: Majority participants said it is necessary to have a separate life from phones.
Problematic areas in which smartphone impact our life and connection to others. Younger generations are more likely to fall into the trap of these behaviors.

Checking compulsively: People say they feel compelled to check their phones constantly and they do not want to do this.

High phone time: People spend a lot of their quality time checking phones and would be more happy lessening that.
Dependent on phone emotionally: People depend on their phones for a lot more than they should and panic when they are not using the phone. They are always thinking about the phone even when not using it.

What to do?

Stop answering all calls: Do not reach for the phone whenever it rings. Go back to the good old behaviors; use an alarm clock instead of using the alarm on your phone. This will prevent you from checking the notifications before going to bed.

Select your notifications and alerts: You do not need notifications for all the Instagram posts and alerts for the latest online festival on the shopping app.

Use a phone tracking app: Use your phone to control your cravings. Try to understand your emotional triggers for using the phone. Use the notification blocker, screen dimming tools; compete in your circle of close people to discourage phone usage.

The greatest problem with all kind of addiction is to lose control. If all the above measures do not give the desired outcome, meet a therapist to get the phone-life balance back.