A recent poll for Human Resource Management found that “Burnout from the current job” was the top reason for people to quit their job. Burnout can make your life tough, even when you are passionate about your work.

If you are unable to create a balance in life by an alignment of input and output; you will have burnout. When you perceive that you are giving more to your job than you’re receiving out of the job you burn out. The important factor here is not that the job is not rewarding but often because you are not taking care of yourself.

How do you fight it?

• Disconnect:  Do not be available 24/7; it will reduce your exposure to constant stressors and help you refocus and recharge. This is the most important strategy for burnout because if you do not disconnect yourself electronically you will always be working. Do not spend the entire weekend answering emails or voicemails instead keep a designated time. Schedule short blocks of time which alleviate stress without you having to sacrifice your availability.
• Schedule your relaxation: Plan your relaxation like you plan your work. Read a book for half an hour or bicycle. If you schedule your relaxation activities, it is more certain that they happen and you have something that you look forward to also.
• Understand the signals of your body: If you pay attention to your body, you will understand the signals. This can help you diagnose burnout in the early stages. All stomach ache is not a result of something bad that you ate. Similarly, an aching neck is not always an indicator of sleeping wrong but the accumulation of stress over time.
• Organize yourself: most of the pressure that you experience is not due to overwork but because you are disorganized in handling the schedule. Organize yourself better to beat burnout.
• Strengthen your support system: You would be tempted to withdraw from other people when you are stressed. But it should be the other way round. Family and friends are capable of supporting you. Spend some time with your loved ones and remove yourself from the stressors at work and have a little fun.

If the above strategies do not work, then the problem is with the job and you might contemplate changing it or visit a Therapist who can help you find out the root of the problem.

Change is inevitable but not avoidable. A major life change is often accompanied by feelings of sadness, dissatisfaction, dullness and eventually depression.These life changes are dramatic, unexpected, brings us out of our comfort zones; give us a sense of an uncertain future.

What is a major life change?

A change in anything that affects your life or lifestyle significantly. It might be a positive one that was already planned or a negative one with adverse effects on your life. It can also be totally unexpected. Others may not be able to comprehend it but it would be significant for you.

For example,

-A loss of job suddenly.

-Relocating to a different state or out of the country.

-Closing a long-term relationship.

-Death of a loved one.

-Diagnosis of a terminal illness

-Losing mobility due to an accident or injury

What is depression?

Depression is not just feeling sad, or a bit down after experiencing a new situation. Depression affects the core of your being and makes you lifeless, and unable to enjoy the good things that you used to enjoy earlier.

Why does life changes cause depression?

Contrary to the common belief, that negative people suffer from depression, people who are positive and optimistic to live also suffer from depression. The life changes listed above have a profound effect on your way of living and being. Such changes will also cause sadness, anxiety, fear and even aggression. Some of us can adjust to the changes accordingly but for a few others, the changes may be too difficult to handle. Even if you have support from family and friends, you can suffer from depression.

How can you get help?

Speak with a counselor or a psychologist who can help you with the understanding of your depressive pattern; identify the cause behind it. Therapy helps with coping major life changes better.He/She is also an excellent support; at times when your world feels like it has fallen apart or is changing rapidly.

Social Anxiety is not just exaggerated fear of meeting strangers depending on circumstances and it will not go away just by facing your fears. “It is the intense fear of being judged, and negative evaluation by others that leads to a sense of inadequacy, inferiority, embarrassment, self-consciousness, humiliation and later leads to depression.”

This person will be functioning absolutely well when alone whereas becomes anxious in the presence of others.

‘Social anxiety’ is not the same thing as Shyness’; They are different. Shyness is a personality trait whereas Social anxiety is a disorder that makes people dysfunctional. Shyness is not always a prerequisite to social anxiety disorder though you will find a lot of people with social anxiety disorder to be shy.

Signs of Social Anxiety:-

-Significant Emotional distress in situations ;

-When introduced to unknown people

-If criticized or teased

-When the person becomes the center of attraction

-Meeting people of authority or important people

-Fear of being in interpersonal relationships including friendships

The physiological signs include intense fear, heart racing, turns red or blushes, sweating excessively, Throat and mouth dry out, trembling, difficulty swallowing, muscle spasms generally around face and neck.Do not confuse Social anxiety with depression, bipolar, panic disorder, schizophrenia, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome etc. Since It has an important component of continuous and extreme anxiety which does not go away with time.

Therapy could help you with the management of Social anxiety. Progressive deficits happen in the amount of fear, and anxiety experienced. Hence, You need huge amounts of persistence and consistency with therapy. A therapy programme in this will provide necessary tricks and specific plan. It also specifies in detail how and why the sufferer should begin to accept their rational thought, emotions, perceptions, and beliefs.

Mental or emotional and psychological abuse has a long-term effect on the victim. This type of abuse occurs generally in long-term relationships. Not only in romantic relationships but also in the parent-child relationship.It can also be in your relationship with the boss. One person puts the other person down psychologically. Children also suffer from mental abuse through maltreatment psychologically often by isolation and neglect.

This kind of abuse is more emotional than physical in nature. Thus, It can range from verbally abusing someone to daily criticism. It could be subtle like intimidating, manipulating and refusing to be pleased. The pattern of abuse includes being aggressive, denial and minimizing the ideas of the victim. Withholding, which includes refusing to listen, communicate and emotionally withdrawing oneself is also a form of mental abuse.

Emotional abuse is far more destructive than verbal and psychological abuse.

Signs that show that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship

• The person puts you down often and uses extreme criticism as a method of punishing.
• Embarrasses and humiliates you in public.
• Refuses to communicate or withdraws from conversing completely.
• The person makes mean jokes or fun of you.
• Is extremely moody, and gets angry easily
• The person uses sarcasm and uses unpleasant tone.
• Dominates and controls you by monitoring your actions.
• Controls the money and uses it to modify your actions
• Threats you to commit suicide or harm themselves if something is not done according to them.
• Makes all efforts to isolate you from friends and family.

If you are facing these things on a daily basis, it is time to regain control. Since Abusers treat you badly and also convince you that you are worthy of no more. Do not fall into this trap and seek help immediately. Mutual respect is very important in any relationship and does not compromise on that. Also Loving a person is one thing and being vulnerable is another.

Coming out of an abusive relationship requires you to seek professional help. It often results in a loss of self-esteem, confidence, Identity that takes a lot to rebuild. Hence, being in an abusive relationship will take a lot from you without you even realizing that it is too late now.

To schedule an appointment with our Counsellors, please call +91-9-069-069-069

Adolescence is a time of great turmoil. Adolescence is the age of 11 to 19 years roughly. Parents also have a tough time dealing with their teenagers. Adolescents are generally viewed by elders as disobedient; who do not follow rules and misbehave. On the contrary, adolescents are actually the ones suffering. A lot of change takes place in the body and mind of the teenager.

It is a stage of life in which the kid is still discovering himself. In this process, he loses his identity. It is the period of transition from being a child to becoming an adult.

Let us look at the two major changes in teenagers:

Physical changes:

Hormone levels are changing at this age drastically for both boys and girls. Due to changes in the hormones, their bodies change in gender-appropriate ways. This is a hard time to go through.

Emotional changes:

Teenagers are confused about their role in the family and society. They are treated as adults and kids alternatively according to situations; a decrease in confidence leads to heightened self-consciousness. Mood swings become common leading to a more emotional vulnerability in teenagers.

Due to these changes teenagers go through specific psychological problems:

Addiction

Substance abuse is very common in teenagers. It is often because of peer pressure and later on becomes a coping mechanism to deal with the emotional turbulence. Also, celebrities become their role models and whatever they do is an ideal way of doing things. Speaking to parents is difficult.

Depression

Depression is common in all age groups. It is more common in teenage as he has nobody to speak to about his feelings. The intense loss of self-identity and confusing role in the society makes it more difficult to cope on a daily basis. There are changes taking place rapidly but the supportive structure to deal is often unavailable.

Phobias

Since this is a growing phase. Learning is taking place at a rapid pace and new experiences are taking place all the time. Fear left untreated often turns into phobias.

Conduct Disorder

Symptoms are a persistent disruptive behavior in which the person violates the rights of others and social norms. In the beginning; it is more like disobeying rules and eventually becomes more disruptive.

There are much more like Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Bipolar Disorder., Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Schizophrenia; which can affect the teenager. All of them need immediate attention and hence need therapy.

You must have used this term numerous times in your lifetime. By now you must have also understood that comfort zone is a psychological state that you stay in and contrary to what the name suggests it should be Comfortable to stay there.

What is the meaning of Comfort zone?

Comfort zone is a State of mind in which things around you feel familiar and you are at ease and in control of your environment. Since you are in a familiar situation and understand how to deal with things, your anxiety levels and stress are low.
Isn’t that a great thing? Then why is it often used in a negative connotation? This is because in this psychological state only a steady level of performance can happen and progress is either not possible or very slow.

Let’s understand the mechanism :

Since comfort zone minimizes the stress, risk and provides mental security. You receive regular happiness, are at a low anxiety level and the stress is low. There have been many experiments in psychology about comfort zone. Robert M. Yerkes and John D. Dodson found that a relative comfort creates a steady level of performance.

A relative level of anxiety is required to maximize performance, which is a level of anxiety that is little higher than normal. It is also known as “Optimal Anxiety” and is just a little outside the comfort zone. Too much anxiety, on the contrary, drops our performance.

Pushing yourself outside the comfort zone requires effort but you can make amazing results. But push yourself too much and it will be affecting you badly. It will make you less likely to take challenges in future. The brain has a natural pattern of going back to the less anxiety provoking and comfortable situation.
Comfort zone cannot be bad or got, it is just a state of mind that is comfortable for most people. There can be both negative and positive effects of coming out of it. The space that we get in our head when staying in a low stress and low anxiety situation can be beneficial when you come out of it. Stay there for too long and your life will become monotonous.

How to come out of your comfort zone?

Do one thing differently:

Do something different each week. Wear an outfit that you normally don’t, cycle to work instead of driving, start gardening yourself etc.Benefit from the effects of change whether it be positive or negative.

Take one step at a time:

You are trying to come out of the comfort zone. That is already a brave thing! Do it slowly; you will still reach there. If you are anxious socially do not start to go clubbing every day. Find out what you exactly fear on work on it. Having too many expectations from yourself will make you feel frustrated.

Try one new thing:

Take a new hobby class for singing, dancing, cooking, collage making or whatever that you would like to try; Do not procrastinate failing, instead accept that you will fail and then build up from the start like a child.

Be positive about the changes:

Imagine the situation you will be in after you make the change. Try to see what emotions you get when you are there and make a list of all; Tackle each emotion gently and coach yourself out of the situation when you really face it.

Keep your mind open to change all of the time, Dale Carnegie advises. “Welcome it, Court it, It is only by examining and re-examining your opinions and ideas that you can progress.”

“Whatever  you believe becomes your thoughts,

What you think becomes your words,

When you speak  about your thoughts, it becomes your action,

What you act on them, it becomes your habits,

Whatever your habits are, that becomes your values,

Whatever your values are, becomes your destiny”.

                                                     -Mahatma Gandhi

That is the power of a habit.

So, what is a habit?

A habit is a fixed way of thinking; wanting or feeling acquired through repetition of a previous mental experience. A behavior that becomes a habit is not noticed by a person because the person does not require to get engaged in it consciously while doing them.

So, then what is a bad habit…

A bad habit has all the features of a Habit with just an addition of negative behavior, which affects our lives in ways that paralyze our life goals.

The habit Loop (Anatomy of a habit)

Trigger (Cues) —-Behavior (routine) —-Reward. Explaining it with an example, suppose your life goal is to become healthy but you are unable to manage your habits. You come home to sit in front of the PS3 and eat chips.

Trigger (Playing games)—-Behavior(Munching on chips)—-Reward(Feeling relaxed and satisfied).

Let’s put it into steps:

1) Identification of a bad habit is the most important step to changing it.

2) After identification, break it down in the similar way that has been shown in the example.

3) Identify the triggers that cause the behavior

4) Find out alternative methods of behavior that give you the same rewards.

This can be applied to form any good or bad habits that you might be dealing with. In spite of understanding the habits in detail, it is sometimes very complex to get over a bad habit alone. Do not shy away from seeking help if it starts to feel hopeless. Visit a therapist nearby.

This disorder commonly known and abbreviated as ADHD is a disorder that is common in children. According to the Diagnostic and statistical manual of disorders; 99 percent of ADHD cases are below age 16. Let us look into this disorder in detail to diagnose it at the early stages. The problem with all mental disorders is that the symptoms are also a part of normal behavior and hence it becomes difficult to draw the line when it becomes a disorder. It is more so if it is in children.

By definition, Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is marked by a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with daily functioning and development. This could lead to unstable relationships, poor work performance, and low self –esteem.

The most important words here are Inattention, Impulsivity, and Hyperactivity.

Inattention;

It means that the child might be lost from the task at hand, hence is not able to persist for long at one task. Is not able to focus for long and is unorganized. While these problems are not due to the child’s failure of comprehension or disobedience.

Impulsivity;

They are not able to delay gratification. So, they Do not think before they take actions and often lands in risky situations because of the same.

Hyperactivity;

Restlessness, over talkative, fidgety and tends to move a lot. Is in constant activity.

Inattention symptoms that can help you diagnose the disorder Include:

1) Procrastinates: does not complete his tasks and moves from an activity to another and leaving all of them incomplete.

2) You may find the child to be disorganized and is not able to focus on the task at his hand.

3) They work without paying attention to details and hence make silly mistakes.

4) Cannot stay on one topic during conversations, do not follow instructions.

5)They forget things easily

Hyperactivity/Impulsivity may often demonstrate in ways like

1) Fidget with toys or articles on the desk

2) Are restless most of the time i.e., climb s or runs around at add times

3) Unable to remain quiet or engage in silent hobbies

4) Is constantly moving, talks non-stop.

5) Interrupt the conversation without waiting for their turn.

These are signs that should raise a concern in your mind; Hence, only a mental health practitioner can diagnose the symptoms of the disorder with accuracy.

Happy Women’s Week to Everyone!

Women are breaking barriers in every sphere of Life. They are taking care of finances besides looking after the household. I have an analogy that needs to be shared when talking about Limiting Beliefs. It is more applicable to women.

Do you know how elephants are trained to stay in control of their master in spite of being such gigantic creatures? This is how, When elephants are just born, they are tied to a rope to keep them in the vicinity of their owner. The baby elephant cannot free itself from the rope because they are fragile but Slowly and steadily these giant creatures come to their full size. The strange thing is even when they grow up they never think of breaking off the rope which is as easy as standing up and starting to walk for them. Why? Because they think the rope cannot be broken as that is what they had believed all along since they were born. They are tied down by their negative beliefs about themselves.

Women often behave in a similar way like that of a giant elephant; unaware of their potential. Often ignorant that the time has changed and they can move out of the rope!Let’s take a lesson from this and take the first step to believe in your own self and be everything that you are and leave everything that you are not. We will get into it step by step:

Step 1: SWOT ANALYSIS

Knowing yourself is the first step to any change that you wish to bring in yourself or your life. A shortcut to that is through SWOT. Locate the traits in yourself that you might label as “Strengths”, and “weaknesses”. And find out your “opportunities” and “threats” in life at present. This will give you a picture of the mountains you have still to climb and the resources that will get you there.

Step 2: Identify your negative thoughts

Journal on a daily basis for a week all those negative thoughts and things you say to yourself. Write down verbatim in your journal and try to find out a theme, you will find a thought that dominates you in most of the sentences. Think critically about these recurrent thoughts. Are they true or have they been taught to you by the society and family? Always check what you speak to yourself.

Step 3: Evaluate the negative thoughts

Once you have identified the negative thoughts, evaluate them under the categories of real and imagined or perceived threats. Some of your negative thoughts are actually your weaknesses and simply motivating yourself will not help. You need to do some rectification.

Step 4: Take small steps

Now, that you know what rectification you have to make; take small steps towards the new way of behavior and thought. Take calculated risks in areas of your weaknesses and increase the degree of difficulty progressively. For example, If You find it difficult to travel alone, start taking solo trips to a place that is 50 km away from you and then increase the distance and go!

Step 5: Extrapolate

You are aware of your inhibitions now and are also aware of the fact that most of them are just negative beliefs that you fed. Do one thing each week that you just believe that you can never do. Put this newly learned lesson to all areas of your life; Personal and Professional.

We are facing a lot of advancements in our Society. Change is inevitable but it is happening too fast. If we look at the last ten years there have been enormous changes in the way we deal, think and progress in life. We as adults are facing a lot of trouble and overlooking that our kids are also suffering with us. There are few mental health issues that particularly affect the younger ones in our vicinity. Mental health can be very critical to the overall wellbeing of the kids. It similar to poor performance in exams due to fever or any other physical illness. As teachers, educators and parents let us be on the watch out and look at it in greater detail.

Most Common mental health issues in children are:

Anxiety:

In anxiety, a person experiences tension and fear without any specific reason. Anxiety is one of the most common mental health problem experienced by children. This is demonstrated by students keeping away from classes for the long duration of time. They are unable to finish their assignments on time due to fear of failing in exams. In anxiety people overanalyze everything. Keep a check on the expectations that you put on the child and understand when the burden is getting unbearable.

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder:

The warning signs for this include, short attention spans, easy distractibility, hyperactivity, and talking too much. This disorder has a devastating impact on the students’ ability to learn and remain in the classroom. Educators should refer the child’s condition to the parents and mental health practitioners at the earliest.

Autism Spectrum Disorders:

This includes a range of disorders. The symptoms range from difficulties in social interactions, repetitive behavior, inability to understand verbal or nonverbal communication etc. The child will generally be withdrawn and aloof. This can range from mild to severe such as, Asperger’s syndrome.

Depression:

Symptoms include absenteeism, a general decline in interactions and a lack of motivation. Family members should look out for symptoms, like isolation, sleepiness, excessive or decreased appetite and suicidal tendencies.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder:

Students show signs of hostility, negativity, aggression towards teachers and other students. They often tend to challenge classroom rules and blame other classmates. Anger is a major symptom and often unpredictable.

These are only a few of the issues that children face. But, There are much more;  we will be covering them in the next blog on the same topic.