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Do you run away from social gatherings? Do you fear what people will say about whatever you say or feel? Do you get tremors when you are around a bunch of people? Does your voice get choked when you have to address something or introduce yourself? Are you conscious about yourself the way you dress, look, speak in public? All these are signs of Social Anxiety.

“Social anxiety is nothing but fear of meeting strangers, negative evaluation by others which leads to a sense of inadequacy, inferiority, embarrassment, self-consciousness, humiliation which later leads to depression.” It’s a mental health disorder / social phobia which is curable without taking any medicines.

These people want to be accepted by others, they also want people to talk to them upfront. Even after other people talk to them, their self-confidence is so low that they are conscious of what they are talking about and most of the time they want to talk but cannot or forget what they have to! People with social anxiety feel comfortable when they are alone in their comfort zone, preferably at home. As they don’t want others to know what they feel or are afraid of.

How to deal with this issue?

People with Social anxiety lack Self-esteem, self-confidence, self-awareness. The following are some tips to get over the fear of judgement.

Accept that people will judge.

People will judge you no matter what. If this acceptance is there then there is nothing to worry about. As people will judge you at this moment and forget it later.

Work on your Self Esteem.

• Ask yourself what do I exactly fear?
• What will the result be if I speak out?
• Once the fear is identified, work on that fear.
• Let your near and dear ones know about it so they can help you.
• If the above doesn’t work take help from a Counsellor or Psychologist.

Take the judgement as a learning

If the judgement matters, you may take efforts to make a shift in yourself. People often fear being judged as they lack on few qualities. But if they overcome their fears, social anxiety will be gone forever.

Take help from a Psychologist

A psychologist will help you to identify the root cause of this anxiety and help to remove it completely. They help you in thinking, behaving, and reacting to situations that help you feel less anxious and fearful. It can also help you learn and practice social skills.

To know more about Mentriq, click here

All images by Pixabay

When we have negative thoughts, we want to get over them, but we can’t. It is easier said than done! According to research, we get round about 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts in a day. Since we are living in this digital world and are exposed to Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, Youtube we take in a lot amount of data inside our brain. This gives a hike in the thoughts, some positive some negative. And mostly it’s negative! As we hear and watch so many cases of rape, abduction, honor killings, divorce, rage, acid attacks, relationship failures, infidelity, jealousy we tend to have these negative thoughts about us and our relationships.

Can you stop your thoughts coming to your mind? NO! You can’t! Can you manage it? Yes, you can…!

But HOW is the question? We often get questions like how should I stop thinking negatively? How should I get out of this Anxiety – Depression? Here are some tips –

• Check if the thought is helpful.

Not all negative thoughts are baseless. Out of 10 negative thoughts, 2-3 must be beneficial. Try to analyze and ask yourself questions like what positive can be derived out of this situation? What can I learn? If I ever come across the same situation how can I overcome and act?

• Write down the thought in a journal.

Whenever you have negative thoughts, write them down in a pocket diary/book/journal. Write the negative thought and besides that write a positive one even if you are not able to find one reason. For eg: If you have a thought that you would fail in your exam now convert this thought by writing how hard you would study to get desired marks in your exams.

• Seek evidence.

When you have a negative thought, try and check what is the proof of the same? Is it even true? Are you doubting your partner just because you had several breakups earlier in life or your partner actually having an affair?

• What will he/she think?

We are always bothered about what others will think about us… People don’t have time to think as their minds are full of their career, managing their homes, children, pets, businesses, etc. They have their issues, worries, and troubles. When you have these thoughts you tend to get consumed by them and go far away from reality. Try to seek evidence.

• Observe and take responsibility.

One cannot blame any other person for the way you think. Thoughts coming in your mind are truly yours. So one cannot say, because of you I am in pain. No, we are in pain because we are thinking in a certain way. This thought process of your’s needs change and responsibility.

• Delegate some time for negativity.

You may find this funny, however, it may be really difficult initially to stop the negativity. Hence delegate some time in a day like 10 mins or 15 mins for the negative thoughts. Let them come and go and simultaneously follow the above steps to overcome.

• Always try to live in the present.

When we have negative thoughts we tend to dwell in the past or the future or both sometimes. Start making it a habit to spend more of your time in the present moment and you’ll, naturally have less negative thoughts. Being mindful is the key.

• Exercise, breathing exercises, do what you like.

Divert your mind by doing what you like – painting, listening to music, what interests you. Do breathing exercises for instant relaxation. Go to the gym, do yoga-meditation or any form of physical exercise. It releases endorphins and makes you happy. Although this is a temporary fix, one needs to follow the above points.

• Check if you are blowing out/in proportion.

Are you magnifying or minimizing thoughts? Question your thought, why would you take this thought seriously? What is the evidence? Keep a reality check.

• Positive affirmations.

Write positive sentences to the negative thoughts and say it once you wake up and before sleeping at least 10 times.

• Write your negative thoughts and burn them.

A feeling of relaxation passes throughout your body when you write and burn things that you are obsessed with.

• Talk to a Psychologist.

After following the above steps, if you are not able to get over the negative thoughts do not hesitate to seek help. There could be some areas in life that are not known to you or are untouched, which only a trained professional helps you getting out of the same.

To learn more about Mentriq, click here
All images, courtesy: Pixabay