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A cognitive bias is an error in reasoning, evaluation, and memory.  It is a systematic malfunction in the process of thinking. You remember an event based on the way your memory functions, which often lead to biased thoughts and decision making. Some cognitive biases are related to problems in attending to details. You have to be really selective in what you pay attention to Since it is a limited resource. This often leads subtle biases to creep in, influencing how you see and think about the world.

Cognitive bias occurs when you hold onto your preferences and beliefs regardless of contradictory information.

How do these biases work?

A brain is a powerful machine but it is also subject to limitations. Cognitive biases make the complex work of brain simple by processing the information in speed. Hence, they aid us in making quicker decisions and reach conclusions faster. While making decisions or judgments about your world, you try to be objective, think logical and evaluate all information that is available to you. But, these biases often lead to poor decisions.

Some of them are discussed below to keep you out of the trap in future:

The Bandwagon Effect.

This is the tendency to follow what other people are doing. People stop exploring various options and go with the idea that is first put on the table. Doing what everyone is doing makes us feel good, even if they are bad alternatives.

 Planning Fallacy.

The tendency of thinking that we can do things quicker than we can actually. This leads to procrastination and incomplete work.

The ostrich effect.

This is exactly what the name means. You hide your face in the ground (not literally) when faced with a scary situation rather than facing it head-on. When you receive a negative reaction in relations or at work, you just push the problems away.

Confirmation bias.

It is very common. It’s the tendency to seek information which can support our already existing beliefs. What happens here is you first form opinions and seek evidence later. Whereas the case should be that we base all our opinions on facts.

Attribution error.

This is when you attribute a situational behavior of a person to his personality. There could be various other reasons for a person’s poor work performance but the most commonly attributed factor is often “laziness”.

Conservatism bias.

What happens here is that already existing information takes priority over new information. Do not reject an idea quickly just because it is different than your beliefs or are radical.

Lastly, when you start feeling that you have mastery over biases, you are in all probability experiencing blind spot bias. When you start to find biases in others and not in yourself; it’s blind spot bias.

Recognition of biases is invaluable as it enables us to think objectively and makes the communication effective.

Low emotional intelligence impacts a wide range of Relationships. Some of the experts have also suggested that IQ is less important than Emotional Intelligence to determine the success of a person.

When you broke into an argument with someone else because you felt the other person did not understand you. Or the other person said that you do not understand them. In both these cases what was the underlying reason? This is what Emotional Intelligence is all about.

This trait of emotional intelligence can be a significant determiner of how we interact with others. If you are someone with low emotional intelligence, engaging in social life is difficult and frustrating.

Classic indicators of Low EQ:

Getting into a lot of arguments

You must have met someone who has arguments with others. People low on EQ do not understand how others feel. They end up in fights without any consideration.

They have no idea about how others around them feel

Low EQ people are most of the time unaware of what others are feeling. So, they do not understand the notion that their partners or co-workers could be angry at them. Emotions irritate them a lot. Hence, they get irritated by the idea that people around them have the need to be understood.

Low EQ people think that others are very sensitive

These people will often crack jokes at the most unusual moment. Also, they might crack a joke at the funeral ceremony of someone. It is natural for people to react sensitively to these jokes. Hence, the Low EQ person then assumes that other people are very sensitive.

They have a hard time maintaining friendships

Long-term close friendships need mutuality, emotional sharing, compassion, etc. These things are lacking in individuals with low EQ. Since, they often become rash; which is often the reason they lack meaningful relations.

They have sudden outbursts of emotions

The regulation of emotions is bad in them. These people struggle to control and understand their own emotions. They tend to have overblown and uncontrollable outbursts.

Blame others for their own mistakes

Since these people have little to no insight of how their emotions can cause problems. Their first response is to blame others. They blame situations and people for their actions. As, they do not take responsibility, and that makes them feel victimized and negative.

Hence, emotional intelligence can make your life go haywire. You will encounter problems in all areas of your life; including work, personal relationships etc. So, If you understand that your emotional intelligence needs a little workup. visit a therapist.
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Technology has made our lives easier, and one of the best inventions of technology has been the cellular phone. It is an indispensable part of our life now. They entertain you, connects you, informs you and aids in exploring your passions. Smartphones are our daily bread now!

Phones should help make your lives easier and not become the center of your life. A recent research found out that for smartphone users a majority of their problematic behaviors are responses that are mindless and for some, it is a bad habit that they need to overcome. Environmental control, behavioral nudges and mindfulness help in breaking this habit.

Important Findings of the Study were:

Importance of Phone: One-third of the participants give priority to their phones rather than the people they care about and wish to spend time with.

Factors of Generation: More intense issues were among the young people. Gen Z described their best friend to be their smartphone.

People seek Help: Participants want someone to help them with Phone-life balance. More than 60 percent of the respondents want to get the maximum out of their phone time and also from their life out of the phone.

They want to separate: Majority participants said it is necessary to have a separate life from phones.
Problematic areas in which smartphone impact our life and connection to others. Younger generations are more likely to fall into the trap of these behaviors.

Checking compulsively: People say they feel compelled to check their phones constantly and they do not want to do this.

High phone time: People spend a lot of their quality time checking phones and would be more happy lessening that.
Dependent on phone emotionally: People depend on their phones for a lot more than they should and panic when they are not using the phone. They are always thinking about the phone even when not using it.

What to do?

Stop answering all calls: Do not reach for the phone whenever it rings. Go back to the good old behaviors; use an alarm clock instead of using the alarm on your phone. This will prevent you from checking the notifications before going to bed.

Select your notifications and alerts: You do not need notifications for all the Instagram posts and alerts for the latest online festival on the shopping app.

Use a phone tracking app: Use your phone to control your cravings. Try to understand your emotional triggers for using the phone. Use the notification blocker, screen dimming tools; compete in your circle of close people to discourage phone usage.

The greatest problem with all kind of addiction is to lose control. If all the above measures do not give the desired outcome, meet a therapist to get the phone-life balance back.

A recent poll for Human Resource Management found that “Burnout from the current job” was the top reason for people to quit their job. Burnout can make your life tough, even when you are passionate about your work.

If you are unable to create a balance in life by an alignment of input and output; you will have burnout. When you perceive that you are giving more to your job than you’re receiving out of the job you burn out. The important factor here is not that the job is not rewarding but often because you are not taking care of yourself.

How do you fight it?

• Disconnect:  Do not be available 24/7; it will reduce your exposure to constant stressors and help you refocus and recharge. This is the most important strategy for burnout because if you do not disconnect yourself electronically you will always be working. Do not spend the entire weekend answering emails or voicemails instead keep a designated time. Schedule short blocks of time which alleviate stress without you having to sacrifice your availability.
• Schedule your relaxation: Plan your relaxation like you plan your work. Read a book for half an hour or bicycle. If you schedule your relaxation activities, it is more certain that they happen and you have something that you look forward to also.
• Understand the signals of your body: If you pay attention to your body, you will understand the signals. This can help you diagnose burnout in the early stages. All stomach ache is not a result of something bad that you ate. Similarly, an aching neck is not always an indicator of sleeping wrong but the accumulation of stress over time.
• Organize yourself: most of the pressure that you experience is not due to overwork but because you are disorganized in handling the schedule. Organize yourself better to beat burnout.
• Strengthen your support system: You would be tempted to withdraw from other people when you are stressed. But it should be the other way round. Family and friends are capable of supporting you. Spend some time with your loved ones and remove yourself from the stressors at work and have a little fun.

If the above strategies do not work, then the problem is with the job and you might contemplate changing it or visit a Therapist who can help you find out the root of the problem.

Change is inevitable but not avoidable. A major life change is often accompanied by feelings of sadness, dissatisfaction, dullness and eventually depression.These life changes are dramatic, unexpected, brings us out of our comfort zones; give us a sense of an uncertain future.

What is a major life change?

A change in anything that affects your life or lifestyle significantly. It might be a positive one that was already planned or a negative one with adverse effects on your life. It can also be totally unexpected. Others may not be able to comprehend it but it would be significant for you.

For example,

-A loss of job suddenly.

-Relocating to a different state or out of the country.

-Closing a long-term relationship.

-Death of a loved one.

-Diagnosis of a terminal illness

-Losing mobility due to an accident or injury

What is depression?

Depression is not just feeling sad, or a bit down after experiencing a new situation. Depression affects the core of your being and makes you lifeless, and unable to enjoy the good things that you used to enjoy earlier.

Why does life changes cause depression?

Contrary to the common belief, that negative people suffer from depression, people who are positive and optimistic to live also suffer from depression. The life changes listed above have a profound effect on your way of living and being. Such changes will also cause sadness, anxiety, fear and even aggression. Some of us can adjust to the changes accordingly but for a few others, the changes may be too difficult to handle. Even if you have support from family and friends, you can suffer from depression.

How can you get help?

Speak with a counselor or a psychologist who can help you with the understanding of your depressive pattern; identify the cause behind it. Therapy helps with coping major life changes better.He/She is also an excellent support; at times when your world feels like it has fallen apart or is changing rapidly.

Social Anxiety is not just exaggerated fear of meeting strangers depending on circumstances and it will not go away just by facing your fears. “It is the intense fear of being judged, and negative evaluation by others that leads to a sense of inadequacy, inferiority, embarrassment, self-consciousness, humiliation and later leads to depression.”

This person will be functioning absolutely well when alone whereas becomes anxious in the presence of others.

‘Social anxiety’ is not the same thing as Shyness’; They are different. Shyness is a personality trait whereas Social anxiety is a disorder that makes people dysfunctional. Shyness is not always a prerequisite to social anxiety disorder though you will find a lot of people with social anxiety disorder to be shy.

Signs of Social Anxiety:-

-Significant Emotional distress in situations ;

-When introduced to unknown people

-If criticized or teased

-When the person becomes the center of attraction

-Meeting people of authority or important people

-Fear of being in interpersonal relationships including friendships

The physiological signs include intense fear, heart racing, turns red or blushes, sweating excessively, Throat and mouth dry out, trembling, difficulty swallowing, muscle spasms generally around face and neck.Do not confuse Social anxiety with depression, bipolar, panic disorder, schizophrenia, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome etc. Since It has an important component of continuous and extreme anxiety which does not go away with time.

Therapy could help you with the management of Social anxiety. Progressive deficits happen in the amount of fear, and anxiety experienced. Hence, You need huge amounts of persistence and consistency with therapy. A therapy programme in this will provide necessary tricks and specific plan. It also specifies in detail how and why the sufferer should begin to accept their rational thought, emotions, perceptions, and beliefs.

Mental or emotional and psychological abuse has a long-term effect on the victim. This type of abuse occurs generally in long-term relationships. Not only in romantic relationships but also in the parent-child relationship.It can also be in your relationship with the boss. One person puts the other person down psychologically. Children also suffer from mental abuse through maltreatment psychologically often by isolation and neglect.

This kind of abuse is more emotional than physical in nature. Thus, It can range from verbally abusing someone to daily criticism. It could be subtle like intimidating, manipulating and refusing to be pleased. The pattern of abuse includes being aggressive, denial and minimizing the ideas of the victim. Withholding, which includes refusing to listen, communicate and emotionally withdrawing oneself is also a form of mental abuse.

Emotional abuse is far more destructive than verbal and psychological abuse.

Signs that show that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship

• The person puts you down often and uses extreme criticism as a method of punishing.
• Embarrasses and humiliates you in public.
• Refuses to communicate or withdraws from conversing completely.
• The person makes mean jokes or fun of you.
• Is extremely moody, and gets angry easily
• The person uses sarcasm and uses unpleasant tone.
• Dominates and controls you by monitoring your actions.
• Controls the money and uses it to modify your actions
• Threats you to commit suicide or harm themselves if something is not done according to them.
• Makes all efforts to isolate you from friends and family.

If you are facing these things on a daily basis, it is time to regain control. Since Abusers treat you badly and also convince you that you are worthy of no more. Do not fall into this trap and seek help immediately. Mutual respect is very important in any relationship and does not compromise on that. Also Loving a person is one thing and being vulnerable is another.

Coming out of an abusive relationship requires you to seek professional help. It often results in a loss of self-esteem, confidence, Identity that takes a lot to rebuild. Hence, being in an abusive relationship will take a lot from you without you even realizing that it is too late now.

To schedule an appointment with our Counsellors, please call +91-9-069-069-069

Adolescence is a time of great turmoil. Adolescence is the age of 11 to 19 years roughly. Parents also have a tough time dealing with their teenagers. Adolescents are generally viewed by elders as disobedient; who do not follow rules and misbehave. On the contrary, adolescents are actually the ones suffering. A lot of change takes place in the body and mind of the teenager.

It is a stage of life in which the kid is still discovering himself. In this process, he loses his identity. It is the period of transition from being a child to becoming an adult.

Let us look at the two major changes in teenagers:

Physical changes:

Hormone levels are changing at this age drastically for both boys and girls. Due to changes in the hormones, their bodies change in gender-appropriate ways. This is a hard time to go through.

Emotional changes:

Teenagers are confused about their role in the family and society. They are treated as adults and kids alternatively according to situations; a decrease in confidence leads to heightened self-consciousness. Mood swings become common leading to a more emotional vulnerability in teenagers.

Due to these changes teenagers go through specific psychological problems:

Addiction

Substance abuse is very common in teenagers. It is often because of peer pressure and later on becomes a coping mechanism to deal with the emotional turbulence. Also, celebrities become their role models and whatever they do is an ideal way of doing things. Speaking to parents is difficult.

Depression

Depression is common in all age groups. It is more common in teenage as he has nobody to speak to about his feelings. The intense loss of self-identity and confusing role in the society makes it more difficult to cope on a daily basis. There are changes taking place rapidly but the supportive structure to deal is often unavailable.

Phobias

Since this is a growing phase. Learning is taking place at a rapid pace and new experiences are taking place all the time. Fear left untreated often turns into phobias.

Conduct Disorder

Symptoms are a persistent disruptive behavior in which the person violates the rights of others and social norms. In the beginning; it is more like disobeying rules and eventually becomes more disruptive.

There are much more like Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Bipolar Disorder., Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Schizophrenia; which can affect the teenager. All of them need immediate attention and hence need therapy.

You must have used this term numerous times in your lifetime. By now you must have also understood that comfort zone is a psychological state that you stay in and contrary to what the name suggests it should be Comfortable to stay there.

What is the meaning of Comfort zone?

Comfort zone is a State of mind in which things around you feel familiar and you are at ease and in control of your environment. Since you are in a familiar situation and understand how to deal with things, your anxiety levels and stress are low.
Isn’t that a great thing? Then why is it often used in a negative connotation? This is because in this psychological state only a steady level of performance can happen and progress is either not possible or very slow.

Let’s understand the mechanism :

Since comfort zone minimizes the stress, risk and provides mental security. You receive regular happiness, are at a low anxiety level and the stress is low. There have been many experiments in psychology about comfort zone. Robert M. Yerkes and John D. Dodson found that a relative comfort creates a steady level of performance.

A relative level of anxiety is required to maximize performance, which is a level of anxiety that is little higher than normal. It is also known as “Optimal Anxiety” and is just a little outside the comfort zone. Too much anxiety, on the contrary, drops our performance.

Pushing yourself outside the comfort zone requires effort but you can make amazing results. But push yourself too much and it will be affecting you badly. It will make you less likely to take challenges in future. The brain has a natural pattern of going back to the less anxiety provoking and comfortable situation.
Comfort zone cannot be bad or got, it is just a state of mind that is comfortable for most people. There can be both negative and positive effects of coming out of it. The space that we get in our head when staying in a low stress and low anxiety situation can be beneficial when you come out of it. Stay there for too long and your life will become monotonous.

How to come out of your comfort zone?

Do one thing differently:

Do something different each week. Wear an outfit that you normally don’t, cycle to work instead of driving, start gardening yourself etc.Benefit from the effects of change whether it be positive or negative.

Take one step at a time:

You are trying to come out of the comfort zone. That is already a brave thing! Do it slowly; you will still reach there. If you are anxious socially do not start to go clubbing every day. Find out what you exactly fear on work on it. Having too many expectations from yourself will make you feel frustrated.

Try one new thing:

Take a new hobby class for singing, dancing, cooking, collage making or whatever that you would like to try; Do not procrastinate failing, instead accept that you will fail and then build up from the start like a child.

Be positive about the changes:

Imagine the situation you will be in after you make the change. Try to see what emotions you get when you are there and make a list of all; Tackle each emotion gently and coach yourself out of the situation when you really face it.

Keep your mind open to change all of the time, Dale Carnegie advises. “Welcome it, Court it, It is only by examining and re-examining your opinions and ideas that you can progress.”

Toxic people cause you harm in numerous ways. They put a lot of “stress” on your mind and body.

A lot of research on stress has shown that stress has a very negative effect on brain. Experiencing even a small duration of stress can decrease the functioning of the neurons in the hippocampus; the area of the brain that is responsible for memory and reasoning. Stress could cause damage that is irreversible while months of stress could destroy the neurons permanently. So, basically, when your mind is out of control due to these biological effects of stress, your performance will suffer.

When you Surround yourself with toxic people, the effect is similar to the effect of negative emotions on your body. It results in a huge stress response from your body.

You can make the process easier by internalizing these :

Choose your battles wisely

You find toxic people fighting for anything and everything on a daily basis. They have a love for drama and attention; do not feed this need and instead be mindful about the topics that really matter to you and stay away from unnecessary debates and discussions.

Do not play a part in the complaining game

These people are always complaining about their jobs, their bosses, their spouses, life circumstances etc. Self-pity is the most common form of Indulgence. Distance yourself! Toxic people have no interest in solving problems, rather they are more interested in bringing you down to their level. Save your energy and find out creative solutions.

Stay away from their emotional chaos

It is hard to deal with toxic people because they are grossly irrational. They have no logic in their understanding of the world around and the situation specifically. Distance yourself from them emotionally and just converse about facts. To stop what the other person is doing, you should try to recognize it as early as possible. You can do that by analyzing what kind of emotions you get around that person.

Build strong boundaries

This is essential and very difficult one too. If you are getting affected by the toxic person, it is also more likely that he is a close family member or a co-worker. Hence, you cannot establish boundaries very easily; but once you have identified them, their actions become more predictable and easier to deal with. For example, control how often you have to interact in a one-to-one conversation. You have to do this deliberately and with a consciousness of the fact that you are doing it.

Forgive but do not forget

Forgiveness means letting go what the other person has done to you. Forgiveness aids in moving on to other things rather than hanging on to negative emotion of being wrong for too long. But forgiveness does not mean that you have to make a fool of yourself every time. Learn from your past acquaintance with the toxic person and protect yourself from any harm in future.

Lastly, when you are dealing with toxic people, you have to build a support system. You have a lot of people in your life who are always ready to work in your interest. Pitch them in and seek suggestions about the situation and how to deal with them. They can often see a solution because they are not invested emotionally in it.