All of us want to better ourselves as an Individual, but we are often convinced that it is not possible to become better once we are into adulthood. But, that is not true, there is always a scope for more improvement. We will get into the details of what are the cardinal steps to become a better person, but it is important that we  always have the best interests of others in mind along with our own well-being

Learn to manage your Anger

All of us experience anger on a daily basis,but if it goes out of control, it can ruin your interpersonal relationships and play havoc with your health. The first step to manage your anger is to acknowledge that you are angry instead of denying it. Notice what is making you angry and why it is making you angry. There is a difference between feeling anger and acting angry; Recognize that! Try to accept that there are many sides to a story, for example,e if your friend acted rudely with you, try to find out if everything is going good in his life or not. He may be having a tough time and it is not about you at all. Try to change your thoughts about the object of your anger.

You can also practice mindfulness to manage anger; Do not carry leftover resentments and grudges from yesterday into your present. Forgive! It will do tremendous good to you .” Let go of the control of your past over your present”.

Help others

This is an obvious route that you take to become a better person! Helping others increases your good deeds list. Apart from this obvious reason research has found that altruism has a direct connection to feeling happy and adds to your emotional well-being. You feel better when you give than when you receive, and research has proven that. It makes you feel good about yourself and also relieves stress. You experience personal growth, increase in confidence, self-esteem, become more self-aware, and ward off depression. The best part is you can practice it anywhere, right now.

Analyze and utilize your Strengths

When you do activities that you love to do, it is fulfilling and you experience what is called “ Flow”. You experience flow when the activity that you are doing supplies you with the right mix of challenge and ease; Flow is the best state to be in because when you feel too challenged, you are under stress and when what you are doing is too easy, you feel bored. Try to find out what activities make you experience this state and do more of these.

We achieve a long-lasting fulfilling life only when we live a life that has a purpose, compassion for others and Altruism. An unanalyzed life will take you everywhere without reaching anywhere. Be there for others, help whenever and however you can, Love the differences you share with others.

 Be the greatest and the best version of yourself!

Also, read our blog on improving your  Mental Health!

A lot of us have a Sociopath in our life whom we have hired, are dating, is married to or are in a deal with; Take a brief look at some of the characteristics to look for in a Sociopath below:

1)Lack of Stable friendships

Balanced and normal people have a range of friends from different phases in their life like school friends, office colleagues or ex-office colleagues, college friends, neighborhood friends etc. Sociopaths do not have long-term stable friends; He/she will drive people away by their strange behavior patterns.

2)Can’t Love

Your sociopath lover/friend/boss is incapable of Love. Being in love is to give up a part of yourself emotionally and they can’t do that. Although they are good at faking all kinds of emotions to achieve what they need.

3)Narcissistic Traits

Sociopaths love themselves; Whatever they do is to serve their own purpose in some way. They have a big and inflated sense of “I” and a tendency to think of their own selves in a grandiose way.

4) No empathy or guilt

Sociopaths completely lack the understanding that their actions can impact others. Although it is not due to the reason that they can’t see it, its more like they don’t care about it. Since sociopaths can’t feel emotions, they are free to pursue any goal in a manner they like, without a second thought.

5) Compulsive Lying

A sociopath will tell you exciting stories about their lives and themselves and all of them would be lies. Surprisingly, you will believe in all of them due to their charming nature. A sociopath is so disillusioned with their own lies that they actually start to believe them. They take a lot of spontaneous risks too and might look very fearless to you.

6) Charming and Intelligent

Sociopaths have a very charming aura that makes people get attracted to them. They would be probably the center of the party or gathering. Especially, if they find you of use, they would be utterly charming towards you.  To add to this attraction is their high IQ which means that they are well versed in a variety of subjects. They can manipulate you very intelligently so that they keep their power over you.

Keep these points in mind when you are dating, hiring, firing, getting married or having a long-term association with someone whose behavior is confusing you and you cannot put a finger on what is going wrong. Trust your emotions around the person!

Learn more About Dr Prerna Kohli

It is very rare to find a narcissist to be aware of his Narcissism; However, if you are one of the enlightened narcissists who want to bring a positive change in your relationships, TRY THIS!

 DO NOT TRY TO DEVALUE OTHERS

If you are aware of your narcissistic patterns, you would also be aware of what I am talking about here. Although, I am aware it is an almost impossible thing for you to do because devaluing other people is your major, all-time coping mechanism. You bring it out at the slightest perceived threat to the superior kind of person that you think you are. Devaluing others makes you feel good about yourself and brings the attention back on you. Try to be creative and find better ways that can bring that attention on you.

Here are a few tips to stop devaluing people:

Understand devaluing

Most of the time you may not be even aware that what you say or do is extremely painful for people around you. You are convinced that if it is the truth everyone has to accept that even if it hurtful to someone. Devaluation means saying words or doing things that bring out other people’s inadequacies and decrease their sense of importance; It brings them below you in a hierarchy of status.

Ask close people

Ask a close friend or a spouse and have an open conversation about what kinds of behaviors and comments they have heard from you that they would consider as devaluing. You should focus just on devaluing, not get into finding out whether those statements were true or rightfully deserved in your opinion.

List them

Make a list for yourself of all the devaluing comments and behaviors; that your friend pointed out in the conversation and carry it with you. Keep adding to this list with the increase in your awareness.

Slow down

Devaluing others comes naturally to you. Slow down. Think before you speak and mentally rehearse what you plan to say. If something sounds devaluing, change the message in your sentence in a kind and neutral way.Remember that everything that you think or is the truth does not have to come out of your mouth. Also, ask yourself if doing or saying the thing that you are about to say useful here or necessary. If you get ‘no’ for an answer, try not to do or say it at all.

Do an empathic emotional review

Do a imagery of the situation and reverse your role as the receiver of whatever you plan to say or do. Ask yourself whether or not you felt devalued by what you just said or did, and if you did feel hurt, Don’t do it!

A Hebrew sage Rabbi said, “ Do not do anything to others that is distasteful to you”.

The major reason the narcissistic relationships are ruined is due to this trait than any other.

Take our Test on Narcissism

You must be very familiar with these glamorous terms Psychopathy and Sociopathy; especially through the movies, series and theatre world. Psychopathy and Sociopathy do not appear in Psychology literature, though there is an umbrella term for these known as an Antisocial personality disorder.

The symptoms of Antisocial Personality disorder are as follows:

• Persistently break or disobey the law
• Deceptive and habitual liar
• Does not plan ahead and is very impulsive
• Is very aggressive and prone to fighting
• Has no regard for the safety of others
• Is very irresponsible with finances
• Lack of guilt or remorse for his actions

More than 3 symptoms are already present in both psychopaths and sociopaths by the time they are 15 years old

Who is a Psychopath?

Research has found out that a Psychopath is born; that is, a psychopath is a psychopath because of his/her genetic predisposition. However, a genetic predisposition does not ensure that a psychopath has not suffered from a trauma in his childhood. Psychopathy is associated with a physiological brain difference. The region of the brain that is related to impulse management and emotion regulation is underdeveloped.

If you are a Psychopath, you will have trouble forming stable and real attachment with others and your relationships will generally be shallow and artificial. You are also able to manipulate everything in a way that benefits your own cause the most; look trustworthy, presentable, stable and hold goods jobs. You most likely have a loving and happy family and are well educated and most of it is through self-learning.

A Psychopath plans and backs up a crime in detail and hence it is very difficult to unearth.

Who is a Sociopath?

Research has found out that Sociopathy is purely an outcome of environmental factors like abusive or negative environment in childhood which exposed them to emotional abuse, physical abuse or a traumatic experience.

If you are a Sociopath, your actions are more erratic and impulsive than a psychopath. Unlike psychopaths, you have a problem forming an attachment with an exception of Like-minded people. You are also unable to hold stable and long-term jobs or have a normal family life. You cannot manage your anger and have violent outbursts.

As a Sociopath, you are impulsive when it comes to criminal activity and are not able to plan it well. You have no regard for the consequences of your behavior.

Although, both psychopaths and sociopaths pose a lot of risk to the society; the risk is a little higher with psychopaths because they experience lesser guilt and often dissociate from their actions without having any emotional attachment. The pain of others is meaningless to them.

Learn more About Dr Prerna Kohli

Also, Read About the Signs of a Psychopath

The terms Anxiety attack and Panic Attack are often used interchangeably but there is a marked difference. In this article, you will get an idea of how Anxiety differs from a Panic attack. Panic attacks are sudden and involve overwhelming and excessive fear. It is of two types, one is an unexpected Panic attack and another is expected Panic attack. As the name suggests, an unexpected panic attack is without any cause and Expected Panic attack is caused by stressors like in case of Phobias. However, Anxiety includes worry, distress, and Fear which is usually in anticipation of a stressful event, situation or experience. Anxiety is often gradual.

Let us see the difference in Detail

Panic Attack:

Panic Attack is sudden and reaches it’s peak within 10-15 minutes and then starts to subside gradually, and they come continuously one after another in waves. In such cases, it is difficult to recognize when the last one ended and the new one started. You feel extremely stressed,keyed-up, out of wits and worried after the panic attack.

Some common symptoms of a Panic attack include:

• Racing heart-beat or Palpitations
• Increased sweating
• Shaking and trembling
• Smothering or shortness of breath
• Nausea
• Choked feeling
• Discomfort or Pain in the chest
• Dizziness or lightheadedness
• Feelings of detachment from oneself and also feeling unreal
• Fear of loss of control, or of dying
• Numbing or tingling sensation
• Hot flashes or chills in the body

Anxiety  “ATTACK”

Anxiety has a high correlation to worry about a situation or event that is dangerous.Although, this danger could be perceived or real; Because, When you anticipate something and it builds up, it causes a lot of stress and the thoughts become overwhelming and unmanageable. In addition, these feelings make you perceive it as an anxiety attack.

Some common symptoms of Anxiety “ATTACK” include:

• Tensed Muscles
• Sleep disturbance that persists over a period of time
• Inability to concentrate
• Tiredness and Fatigue
• Feeling restless
• Irritable
• Increase in Startled responses
• Racing heart
• Experiencing shortness of breath
• Feeling dizzy

Although Panic and Anxiety “ATTACKS” may appear similar, but Anxiety “Attacks” are generally much less in intensity. However, Anxiety more often than not may last for days,weeks or months whereas a Panic Attack is of a very short duration.

Take our Test on Anxiety

Learn more About Dr Prerna Kohli

Who is a Victim?

A victim is a person who always views his Life through the glass of “I am not at fault or the world/destiny is the reason for all my misery”. He considers himself a victim of other people’s actions and circumstances and is certain that he cannot do anything about it.

Victim Mindset is a very wide spread and debilitating mental process. The Locus of control is always outside the person. Some common beliefs of the victim could be “I can never get what I want”, “People  are responsible for my sadness” and “ Life is tough” etc. He believes in his make-belief stories of “Poor-me” and cannot look past these.He cannot take responsibility for his actions.

If you notice,they will always come with a set of  un-solvable problems, like a boyfriend who deserted them, parents who are after their life or a boss who is responsible for their career problems. They will force you to be their therapist and demand rescuing.

The best way to deal with the “Victim” mentality is:

• Say “NO” with conviction. You do not have to please everyone or worry about what impact it will have on the other Person because people are responsible for their own Lives. If you say a “Yes” just to make the other person feel better, it will make the situation worse. Enabling these kind of behaviors is bad.
• Help the person understand his own patterns of behavior. Tell him that ‘feeling sorry for yourself will not solve your problems”; If you are not ready to discuss solutions, I cannot listen to you for more than 10 minutes”.
• When you set boundaries with the ‘ victim’, he/she will come up with blames like “you are not a good friend , daughter, son, or wife”. Be ready for this but do not succumb to it.
• If the ‘victim’ in your life is a co-worker, listen briefly and acknowledge his problems; But let him know that you have deadlines to meet and have to return to your work.

• Use body language to reduce the engagement time by breaking eye contact, crossing arms or turn your back. Engage as less as you can!
• If you are the “Victim”, remember that Self-Pity is an indulgence. If you did not have to survive genocide, Regular violence,extreme poverty,homelessness or hunger; there is no reason to feel imprisoned.
• Have empathy: It helps you see the other person’s perspective and be kind to them. Because,If you are empathetic you will understand the deeper meaning in people’s behaviors. If a close family member complains that “ you are being selfish”,his motive could be that he wants to spend more time with you.
• Do not categorize this person to be your enemy as it will be a spiritual U-turn.Therefore,Limit how much you  give-IN to their unhealthy patterns.

Learn more About Dr Prerna Kohli

If you always feel like a Victim,you could be having Anxiety or Depression. Take the tests!

Acting without thinking, getting fidgety, daydreaming is normal for kids. They may blurt out things randomly and may not follow instructions. But when such actions continue, it might be a matter of concern. Parents may even label their kid as notorious, lazy or troublemakers.

However, you must give it a thought that the child might have some hyperactivity issues.

ADHD: Meaning, Types, Symptoms

ADHD is a neurological disorder. Lacks of attention, impulsivity or hyperactivity are signs of ADHD.

It has three subcategories- Inattentive, Hyperactive-Impulsive and combination. A child with the disorder may show the following symptoms:

• Fleeting attention
• Absent-mindedness
• Not willing to sit in one place while eating, doing work or watching TV
• Easily distracted
• Forgets and loses things
• Interrupts while others talk
• Can’t wait for their turn
• Need repeated reminders
• Extremely verbal
• Unorganized
• Fidgety and restless

First, ADD or now called the Inattentive type ADHD, has symptoms where the child would be lack focus, forgetful and is unorganized. In turn, they make careless mistakes, are unable to complete tasks under given deadlines, would avoid tasks that involve excess mental efforts and are very easily distracted. Such kids, as they further grow, may face self-esteem issues.

Second, Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD, has symptoms where the child is very fidgety. For this reason, he may not sit in one place, runs a lot, talks a lot. He may have problems waiting for his turn and may interrupt others while talking. There could be situations where he couldn’t even wait for a question to finish and just jabber the answer.

Third, Combination type ADHD has at least 6-7 symptoms of inattentive and 6-7 symptoms of a hyperactive-impulsive type of ADHD.

ADHD is a condition which is actually caused because of the wiring of the brain system and it cannot be cured. But there are treatment options available. Some of them are:

Medication

The medications are helpful in reducing the hyperactivity, impulsive behaviour and improve cognition. Furthermore, they also enable better motor coordination. For instance, the most common are the stimulants that help to produce dopamine and norepinephrine that help with attention and cognition. Apart from that, there are antihypertensive drugs or medicines to improve cognition.

Family Therapy

A support from the family always makes a great influence on the child. It is important for the family to accept the child for all what he got. A positive and understanding attitude from the parents and siblings can really reduce the levels of frustration and self-criticism the child develops over the time.

Behavioural Therapies

This is a kind of psychotherapy which helps the child to alter his behaviour. The child will be able to monitor his behaviour. And every time for the appropriate reaction instead of an impulsive one, the child gets a reward that further encourages him. The people around like family members or teachers should also praise them for every improvement. There are set rules and routines that the child follows.

Social Skills Training

The child is provided with social skills training. This helps him in improved friendships and interpersonal skills, helping them further to develop a healthy social life.

Psycho-educating Families

It is very important for the families to understand the functioning of brain and behaviour of the child. A proper professional explanation would give the family more insight to them about the child. This will help them understand and support their child better.

Quick Tips

Besides the above treatment options available, some quick tips to handle a hyperactive child:

• Monitor sugar intake
• Consult for a diet plan
• Make schedules to be followed
• Follow performance-reward technique
• Help them keep organized
• Make them note down tasks

Does your child have the symptoms of hyperactivity? Or is it just his tantrums? Do you need guidance?

Call us at +91-9069069069.

No matter how good the meeting went or how impressed the clients seem by your demo, but closing a deal can be stressful. And due to high competition in the market, at times, the probability of a guaranteed yes remains unmeasured.

People do not face many difficulties in getting the leads but the real struggle comes when the deals are supposed to be closed.

Here are some tips that would help you to step up your closing game:

Action Plan

You need to define a course of action to your client. This is helpful in keeping the deal and the work organized. A timeline is fixed for the whole process and other factors like investment, expenses, resource requirements, etc., are also predetermined.

Deadline

Deadlines are very important because they make the work more convenient. They are helpful in managing short-term as well as long-term goals. You can prioritize your work according to the need. When the work is divided in small chunks over the days, rather than creating huge goal months away, makes the situation more stressful. Achieving small victories keeps you motivated.

Identify the Decision Maker

One of the important point to keep in mind is you need to identify who is the top dog when it comes to taking the decisions. A lot of times, you are unable to convert a lead into the deal because you talk and invest time in the wrong person.

Focus on solution

It is important that you focus on the solution. Along with the same, you should also focus on discussing the benefits of the solution. This helps in convincing the client more.

Ask Questions

It is ideal to ask the opposite party questions while negotiating. This will give you a better clarity on their needs and expectations regarding your service. There might be client’s reasons that might halt the deal, which you are unaware of. It could be the expenses involved, timeline, etc. Enquiring a bit might provide you with the same and maybe you can work things out.

Discuss the next step

Discussing what’s next is always a good move. This helps you provide a direction, where the deal is heading towards. Depending on the same, you can plan the next move.

Flexibility

Flexibility here does not mean being an extrovert but adjusting to the situation. While dealing with a client it is important that you warm up with them, in turn engaging them and making them interested in your deal.

Follow-up

Follow up with your clients post the meeting. This creates a good impression of yours on them. And in turn, it helps to build up a good relationship with them. If your client trusts you, it will be easy for you to negotiate deals.

Keep in touch

Keep in touch with your clients. You can introduce them to your achievements and latest services. This will keep them aware of your progress and programs which may make them opt for your services again.

Food is amongst one of the three basic necessities of life. It is very important for kids to eat healthy and proper food for right growth and development. But the recent scenarios show an increase in the number of eating disorders amongst children. There is no set age for it to develop. It could be an adolescent as well as a kids as young as 6-7 years of age. They are concerned, in an unhealthy way, about what and how much they are eating.

The main types of eating disorders are:

Anorexia

The child has an irrational fear of becoming fat. Hence, would avoid eating an adequate amount of food. In extreme scenarios, some might vomit out food after eating. The child feels overweight, even when the reality is totally opposite.

A kid with this issue shows symptoms like sadness, anger, depression or excessive worry.

Bulimia

The child eats big chunks of food first and then tries to get rid of it either by vomiting or taking a laxative. They might even do an excessive workout, in private, to get rid of the calories. They have no control over their binging and find such ways to keep a control on their weight.

A kid with this issue loses weight despite excessive eating. He starts working out immediately after eating or uses medicines to make them either vomit or defecate or pee.

Binge Eating

The child rapidly eats big chunks of food, but does not make efforts to get rid of the same. This is more of a compulsive behaviour. The victim has loss of control in the situation. They, over the time, tend to gain weight.

A kid with the issue could be struggling with psychological issues like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, the feeling of guilt and disgust, etc.

Improper eating habit leads to stunt development in kids. Some of the symptoms to watch out are:

1. Refusal to eat or over-eating
2. Reduction or increase in portion size
3. Hoarding or hiding food
4. Isolation
5. Growth and development issues
6. Weight loss or weight gain
7. Irregularities in the menstrual cycle in girls
8. Changes in personality

The disorder not only leads to change in eating habits but can turn out to be life-threatening as well.

There is no specific reason for the eating disorders, but a combination of various psychological, social, biological factors contributes to the problem. The culture phenomenon like being thin or underweight is healthy and makes you more acceptable also adds on. Psychological or psychiatric disorders could also be the reason.

Some of the steps parents or teachers can take on their parts to help the children with eating disorders:

1. Avoid food as a reward
2. Do not give too much value to physical appearance or criticize them for the same
3. Do not force the child to eat beyond the capacity
4. Provide awareness to your child regarding the same
5. Keep a check on their behaviour
6. You can encourage the child to get involved in sports and exercises
7. Encourage and be emotionally available for the child
8. Do not over pressurize the child with unrealistic goals
9. Introduce them to great idols of different shapes and sizes

It is important to seek professional help if the elders are unable to help the child cope up with their problems. The child might need a nutritionist, doctor or a psychiatrist or counsellor, depending on the need. Taking an action, as soon as possible, is important.

Do you feel your child could relate to the above symptoms? Do you want expert advice regarding the same?
Call us at +91-9069069069.

When we say the term ‘bullying’, we often picture a child at school getting picked on. But it could be a child in the kindergarten or in the college to a person working in an MNC or hospital, who is facing it, inflicting it or witnessing it. An adult may be able to handle the situation and come out of it, but when it is a child in the similar scenario, he might have a great psychological impact. This can further affect the development of his personality as an adult in turn affecting the parents and the community.

The popular Netflix series ’13 Reasons why”, the latest “Insatiable”, etc., and movies like ‘Mean Girls’, “A Girl Like Her’, “Hope Floats”, have one thing in common which is the concept of bullying. These show how popular or physically attractive kids torment other kids and get away with it most of the times.
Bullying impacts, not just the kid who gets bullied, but also the one who bullies and the others who see it happening. Let’s see how that happens.

THE VICTIM

Affects the ability to trust

Bullying creates a strong sense of distrust in the child. It might not come to notice initially, but as the child matures and socializes, this profoundly developed mistrust emerges strongly. It becomes one of the major reasons for failed relationships and friendships in the person’s life.

Affects the ability to learn

The child constantly worries about being bullied. He thinks that where, when, why and how he could be targeted next. This leads to lack of concentration and increased levels of stress, distracting him and negatively affecting his brain receptors.

Hatred towards School and Teachers

The child does not feel accepted in the school and feels unsafe. He might start showing great resistance to going to school. A lot of kids drop out of schools and colleges because of the issue. Or even if they continue, the school incidents affect their academic performances. They even tend to develop a strong disliking towards the teachers and the whole school system as they feel helpless and victimized.

Vengeful Behavior

The child feels like nobody cares enough for him. He reaches a point where his anger overtakes his sanity. The child might often act out. He may plan to take revenge from the people around whether they are responsible or not. We have come across many incidents in the news of school shooting and the attacker had a history of being bullied.

Mental Health Issues

Such situations could be emotionally taxing for the child. He constantly faces criticism for looks, clothes, any disability (if there), etc., leads to a low sense of self-worth and creates major self-esteem issues. The child is constantly stressed out. This, if prevails for long, further leads to anxiety issues, depression, PTSD, etc. The child could even become suicidal.

Few symptoms a child might show that indicate bullying at school:
• Change in eating patterns
• Remains aloof
• Change in sleeping patterns
• Avoids socializing
• Exhausted most of the times
• Ignores going to school
• Nightmares
• No play dates

THE ATTACKER

The attacker here would be the one who bullies others. They are likely to:

• Engage in violent behaviour
• Use drugs and alcohol
• Engage in sexual activities early or offensive of nature
• Engage in criminal activities
• Be abusive towards the partner or children
• Develop a sense of entitlement
• Involved in damaging public or private property

THE WITNESS

The kids around witnessing bullying also bear its effects. They are likely to:

• Develop a fear of the bullies
• Skip school
• Involves in drug and alcohol abuse
• Develop mental health problems

Even after making strict laws and rules, we often come across cases of suicides in colleges and schools due to this reason. Such incidents affect the lives of the people around and the families of the children involved. There is an increase in the number of suicide cases because of bullying. People discriminate the victim on the basis of colour, race, nationality, the type of clothes they wear, body structure, etc. And when nobody comes to their rescue, family or friends, it increases the issues they are already going through, affecting their mental well-being.

Do you happen to know a child in such situation? Do you think he needs help? Call us at +91-9069069069.