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Work is as important as ‘NON-work’i.e, Rest!  What do you do when you are not doing any work is very essential to transform your life. A lot of stuff is disrupting your workplace like the change in demography, globalization, technology, automation etc. But this force of Nonwork is also one major factor for disruption of your workspace and a hindrance to your performance.

If you look back in history, you will find that the most creative scientists, thinkers, authors, and politicians were very serious about ‘REST’.Times have changed from what used to be when Einstien or Morrison lived and your day job is completely different than theirs, you can still pick up lessons from their lives and practice.

You should start practicing rest before you have a burnout; if you are already there, still it is a good time to take this seriously and apply strategies that could enable you to Rest. Do it before you eventually crash. We cannot be as fit or swift as Usain bolt but we can always apply some of the tricks that could transform our lives.

Here are a few tips to make  your share of Nonwork time effective:

Take Rest as a Mandate

You will not be able to work hard if you do not take rest seriously. Success and Rest are best friends; Do not treat rest as an absence of work but take it deliberately to be successful.

Be Focussed

Create your daily schedule for uninterrupted periods of focused and specific work rather than a day that is full of distractions and unfocused work. By doing this you will accomplish more in lesser time and make space for rest.

Alternate work and rest

If you want to be creative, alternate intensive work period with a deliberate rest period. If you concentrate really hard on a problem, your subconscious mind will tempt you to work on it.

Start Early

You will be amazingly productive if you get to the office an hour early and return back early. Make it a habit to reach earlier than the time you are supposed to reach.

Detach

Leave your work in the office. If carry your work to your free time, you will be less productive and resilient. When you go on a vacation, don’t attend to emails, phone calls etc. This one rule will make you more resilient and productive at work.

Switch off devices

Disconnect to your devices during Rest time. Our world is obsessed with technology and with technology, we carry all our work along with us. Detachment from work is not possible without detaching from the devices.

Take off from work

Ideally, you should take a vacation from work once every three months. This would increase your energy and make you more resilient to work stressors.

Engage in deep play activities

If you want to have a long and productive life, cultivate hobbies. It could be any activity that is not a part of your work and has the capacity to give you the same psychological rewards but in a relaxing setting and without the frustration of a daily job.

Get plenty of exercise and sleep

Exercise will help your brain perform better due to more intake of oxygen. Sleep deprivation is not going to make you successful. In today’s work-obsessed culture this could be an indicator of commitment to one’s job but it is a myth. Sleep with no only provide rest to your physical body but to your brain as well and will also remove toxins that are accumulated throughout the day.

Take care of your rest time so that you can avoid overwork and burnout later.

Also, read our Blog on Burnout

We have already talked about the positive benefits of vacation in our earlier blogs. All of us want to give our best, work hard, earn more and maintain our status as a high performer. But, you must always remind yourself of an exponential increase in productivity that is an after effect of getting out of your daily routine! A vacation exposes you to novel experiences, which has a direct correlation to your creativity. It will boost your physical and mental health. It will bring back your focus and inspiration.

Having established the importance of a vacation; returning back to your obligations is difficult and sad always.

Here are some tips to help you smoothly glide back into your office/ work:

Schedule an extra “Buffer” day

Try to arrive back to your town a day in advance of joining back to work. Most of the times when going on a vacation, you join your work the next day you return leading to a chaotic time at home and at work too. Keep this extra day after a vacation to unpack your suitcases, doing laundry, checking emails, refueling groceries etc. when you have sorted out the essentials at home, you will be much more at peace in office.

Do not leave any loose ends

Before you go off for the vacation, prioritize your work, check for the deadlines that need to be met before leaving and what can wait till you come back. Finish all the incomplete tasks, check your inbox, and update your co-workers in the project about the status of the project.

List everything

It is impossible for you to finish all incomplete work before going on vacation. Create a list of all the to-do work so that you can start from where you left upon return. Having the clear picture of your tasks will also help you relax during vacations.

Clear and Tidy up clutter

You do not want to return to an onslaught of phone messages, emails and tasks with missed deadlines. Minimize the clutter on your workspace before you leave. Organize and label files so that your teammates can easily access them in your absence. Create an out of office reply for email and phone with details of your time and length of absence.

Get back into work easily

Arrive an hour or two earlier than your normal office hours on the first day at the office after vacation. Use this hour to catch up on emails, important dates on a calendar.  Plan your day before you can actually dive into work again. Take the high priority work first and do it one by one. Do not try to do everything at once as it will make you overwhelmed and stressed.

Do the planning in advance so that you can thank yourself later!

Also read our blog Why vacations are mandatory

Many people consider the topic of sex as a taboo. Hence, it increases the lack of education about the topic. Due to which, many people only indulge in sexual activities to reproduce. Hence, after the couple conceives a child, the couple starts to put sexual needs and activities aside. But, it should not be the case as there are many benefits as well as there is an importance of sex in a relationship.

Thus, below are few reasons why sex is important in a relationship:

Better Appearance:

It is a well-known fact that sexual intimacy burns calories. Also, a study has shown when you indulge frequently in sexual activities your body starts to develop immunities and helps your skin generates a radiant glow. Along with it, people who indulge in frequent sexual activity with their partners maintain a healthy lifestyle. Hence, attaining a better appearance.

Releases Stress and Increases Immunity:

Frequent Sexual intimacy helps increase your immunity. For women, studies have shown that sexual orgasm has helped them to ease their migraine pain as well as period cramps. For men, orgasm helps them release their daily tension as well as decrease the risk of prostate cancer. Also, indulging in sexual activity helps fight against flu and the common cold.

Helps Sleep Better:

As mentioned above, sexual intercourse helps relieve stress. Hence, when the person is stress-free, the person is able to sleep better. Also, if the person is able to sleep he/she is able to work more efficiently the next day as the body gets its rest which it asks for.

Creates a Mental Immunity:

Indulging in sexual activity releases chemicals which helps fight stress. A low-stress life results in a general mental well-being. Also, it makes us think positive about our body and increases our confidence. Thus, bringing positive thinking and creating a happy mood in general.

Increases the Bond:

Achieving orgasm releases oxytocin, which makes the person feel more loved. Hence, it increases the bond between the two people where they are able to understand each other much better. Thus, bringing both of the partners together. Which then leads to an overall happiness in the relationship.

Thus, we see that sexual intimacy is very important in any relationship. It keeps the spark alive in the relationship as well as increases the bond between the two partners.

But, too much of everything is bad, hence if you think you are suffering from sex addiction then please visit a mental health professional immediately.

You can Read about Sex Addiction in Women

You can Read about Sex Addiction in Men

Take Our Sex Addiction Test

Read More about Pornographic Addiction.

Image Credits: Pixabay

Lonely people are more likely to die of cardiovascular disease, cancer, respiratory problems and gastric problems than the Non-Lonely. You as a human being are supposed to be connected to other human beings. This need for connectedness is wired so deeply that if you are rejected socially or excluded from society in any way, it hurts like an actual wound. Loneliness kills!

Another research showed that, if you have less than three people whom you could confide in and lean for emotional support, you have double the chances of dying from heart diseases. You also have double the likelihood of dying of all the causes even if age, earnings, and smoking levels are comparable.

Besides, premature death, loneliness is the contributor to many more health-related woes. Lonely people, in general, suffer from more severe symptoms of the same disease than the non-lonely. Chronic Loneliness leads to low immunity, cognitive decline, and dementia. If you feel lonely you have double the chances of developing Alzheimer’s.

Loneliness and depression often go hand in hand. Hence, Loneliness is a Psychological condition in which you feel empty, have feelings of lack of control, perceive yourself as worthless; similar to some of the symptoms of depression. Although depression does not necessarily predict loneliness. Loneliness leads to an increase in symptoms of depression apart from increased stress, anxiety and anger.

What is Loneliness?

Loneliness is not just being alone. Traditionally you must have come to believe that Loneliness effects those who are unmarried, divorced, having less extended family etc. But Loneliness is your subjective experience and is exclusive of the fact that you are married, divorced, widowed etc. Loneliness is then a perceptual state that depends more on the quality of your relationships and not just the number of connections you have. You can also feel lonely with a vast social network and hundreds of friends. The subjective loneliness you experience is a big risk factor than actual social  Isolation. It is more about how you feel than what your social connections look like.

How  to Fight Loneliness

Talk to strangers

Talk to someone sitting next to you on the bus on the route to the office. Small talk does more good than it looks like. You will feel much better after talking for only 30 seconds with someone than an hour of online interaction.

Converse for seven minutes

It takes seven minutes to know that the conversation is going to be interesting or not. You reveal yourself after those initial hitches and hulls and start to connect at a deeper level.

Choose face time

Being there is person Is the best way of communication, but when this is not possible choose FACETIME by video call.

Use social media Wisely’

Create smaller social networks within the large ones. Sharing opinions, reactions with a selective group of people is more meaningful.

Know your neighbor

Research found out that better connections in neighborhood lower your risk of cardiovascular diseases. Arrange for a coffee terrace party with your neighbors and you will find yourself healthier and happier.

Invite for a Dinner

Eating together is a form of social collective event that brings people closer.

Be Creative

Organize a craft night with a closed group having common interests. Any form of art will help you connect with other people without actually talking about yourself.

“ When someone else pays attention to you and in turn allows you to connect to them through shared experience the human circuit gets completed; so you are connected “

Talk out

Just talk about your feelings and you will feel much less lonely. Call a friend for a date, or speak to your parents, colleagues to tell how you feel, share the load.

Touch –Literally

Touch is a powerful medicine. Hence, Pat someone on the back, hold their hands or hug. Physical touch will lower your physiological stress, will increase immunity, help you recover from inflammation and infection. It will release oxytocin; the feel-good hormone which in turn will strengthen your social bonds.

Women an Men not only differ in their Physical make-up but greatly differ in their Psychological Makeup. The patterns of mental distress found in women are also highly different from the patterns in women. Women generally tend to Internalize their Problems while Men are Externalizers.

The way your brain is biologically wired is actually different from a woman. Hence, You deal with relationships, express emotions and react to stress differently.

These factors are both the Cause and Effect of the particular mental illnesses described below:

Addiction Or Substance Abuse

According to statistics, its 3 to 1 in comparison to women. Research suggests that men often turn to substance abuse as a response to the major life stressors of Unemployment and Divorce. Also, Men often have more negative outcomes in the Family courts as the custody of children is mostly with the mother. The visitation rights of the Men is also very restrictive which is a soul-destroying condition. Men become very isolated from the society in both these conditions of financial instability and failure of a relationship.

Depression & Suicide

Consistent exposure to stress and sadness results in Depression but at certain times it could also be a chemical change in brain chemistry. As a result of the above conditions in male, a major endemic that has come to surface is of suicide.  The suicide rates in India has risen from 7.9 % in 1987 to 11 % now. The ratio of Men to Women in the population is 2 to 1. Men do not address the problem and try to solve, but generally, tend to defer the problem and their emotions too. They more often share good times with their peers instead of the bad experiences as they have a tendency to be strong in all situations. In attempting to remain rock-solid and strong, they tend to ignore their feelings and hence often take the route to end their lives.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

This disorder is also one of the disorders more common in men. Younger Males are more likely to suffer from this Disorder among the Population of men. OCD maybe commonly termed as an excessive amount of Fear and anxiety associated with anything. People with OCD have a fear that is related to a specific thing or an event. In Normal condition, if you have a fear that you have left the doors or window open; you would go back and lock the same and forget about it. But a person suffering from OCD needs to recheck the doors and windows several times to be able to feel relieved

Undifferentiated Schizophrenia

In this you will experience a range of symptoms including Hallucinations,delusions,lack of focus,speech disorganization and an abnormality of movement and behavior that is caused by your disturbed mental state. This cause of this disorder can be rooted in the environment, genes or a chemical imbalance in the brain. Research shows that Men are 1.4 times more prone to suffer than women.

Bipolar Disorder

In this disorder, you may experience sudden and extreme changes in mood. It might switch from sudden unnatural happiness without any reason to extremely sad or depressed state. Men suffer more from this disorder than Women. An episode of extreme elation also known as hypomania, you will experience fast thoughts, excessive physical activity, reckless activities including sex and spending etc. Conversely, during a Depressive episode, you will have very low energy, feel sad and empty, be tired all the time, and have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of death

If you or any  person near you suffers from any of these conditions,visit an expert. Help is always near you.

“Father,  just like mothers, are not born. Males grow into fathers and fathering is a very significant stage in their development.”  David Gottesman

Happy Father’s day to all of you! The Superhero of Our Lives.

You as a father along with the mother are the most important person in a child’s life. The father is the first man in a child’s life and the Mother is the first woman the child will encounter. The role of the mother has been of nurturing through feeding, love and that of a father has been of engaging and supporting through more as “PLAY” & guidance.

Although, the role of the father has changed over time. Now, Fathers do more of hands-on caregiving now; like changing nappies, visiting the doctor, dropping and picking up and helping children with their academics.

Role of a father

Generally, you might find that the role of a father in the child’s world is like a second-class citizen;

Research Says…

that if the child has a father who is more involved; the child grows up to be more emotionally secure. Thus, being more confident in reaching out to his surroundings. Also, he has a better emotional intelligence and good social connections.

Since the father is often in the role of playing with children, he has an impact on child’s social and emotional development. Fathers spend a lot of time interacting one-on-one with toddlers and therefore children model a lot of their feelings and behavior.

If you are actively involved in your child’s life in adolescence, it will result in better intellectual functioning, good verbal skills and greater achievements in life.

As already mentioned,  father is the first male role model in a child’s life.  For an adolescent boy, he aids in building positive gender-role features and in adolescent girls his role is to imprint a positive opinion of men.

As a father, you are also a trainer to your child, their coach. You are the person to whom the child will look up to for problem-solving and enduring difficult situations. It is your duty to teach them how to take the bigger challenges in life and teach them life skills that are necessary for his future.

As a Father to the Family

Therefore, along with being your child’s father, your role as a father is to be a good husband to their mother. Also, How you as a father bond with their mother will set parameters in their mind of interpersonal relationships. Your child will know what to expect from their partners and what is the best way to bond with their spouses in a long-term relationship.

Hence, When you along with the mother are able to bring up a happy, healthy, and loving kid in the society, you do great service to society. One father and one family at a time will make the world a better place to live in.

Learn more about Mentriq and Dr Prerna Kohli.

“Friendship is a very important relationship. But not everyone is blessed with one. So, what is the most important component that is vital to a friendship? It is commitment. Commitment is important for all long-term and fulfilling relationships.”

If you wish to cultivate real friendships, you need to be obliged to each other in a healthy and meaningful way. You need to devote energy, time, thoughts, to the needs and desires of your friend. In reward for this, you will get a satisfying and rich relationship for a lifetime.

Let us say that you bought a new car and it has great looks, good mileage etc, but it will not be nice if you do not take care of it. You have to do minor repairs before there is a major breakdown, change the oil etc to keep it running smooth. When you do such minor maintenance work regularly the car will have a long life and would be more reliable.

A friendship is also like that. You have to take care of your friend and your friendship so that it keeps going smoothly. You have to sort out minor problems before they become major resentments.

Here are some of the things you can do to make your friendships healthy:

Be in contact

Connect with your friends in small intervals. It might be difficult for you to get a lot of time to sit and chat with them but you can always make quick texts, emails etc. A very important part of friendship is sharing. Your friends want to know and share important information about his life and your life. It is also true that, with good friends, you will always pick up from where you left but by then you will lose out on several years of companionship.

Don’t keep scores

Don’t calculate and make a profit and loss statement of who did what. You can always make a phone call even when your friend could not manage to. When you give something unconditionally, it often balances out in unexpected ways. There can always be genuine reasons behind why your friend cannot call you back. Friendships will not work if you always try to make it even.

Always be Balanced

It is very important to keep it equal in friendship. Friendship should be healthy enough to shift roles easily. Share your stories and listen mindfully. Do not feel inferior or superior to each other and look up to each other for wisdom and understanding. True friendship is walking side by side.

Maintain Loyalty

Loyalty is the most important ingredient of a good friendship. Do not talk about your friend in a negative way to others. Do not float rumours or gossip about your friend and stand up for each other at all times. Accept the faults of your friend and do not make it a topic to gossip about.

Remember your friend’s birthday

Remember important things in your friend’s life and wish them. Regular small gestures are also as important as special events. Send them a thoughtful card to remind them of how special they are.

Resolve Conflict

Human relationship is not possible without conflict. Do not let small resentments grow into bigger ones. Give each other space and agree to disagree. Work through your resentments than break it off.

Be an admirer

Do not compare yourself with your friend instead be his/her fan. Admire their achievements and appreciate them. Cheer each other up in bad times.

The “Golden rule” for a long-term friendship is to treat your friend as he/she wants to be treated. Pay attention to their qualities and be with them in times of their troubles. Accept the person who your friend is as complete.

Food is everywhere. There are TV commercials of those juicy burgers in between shows, advertisement of the chicken leg on the walls on your way to the office, Home delivery numbers for the cheesiest pizza along with a photograph, and if not anywhere on your Mind. How do you plan your good times with your friends and family? You go to have lunches with family, you book brunch for Sunday, Saturday evenings are for the happy hour beers with friends etc.

Do you see a pattern? Food is the centre of everything you do.

Is food your Problem or the relationship you have with Food is a problem? Do you always see food as a boss of your life or as an enemy from which you need to keep a distance? When you treat food as any of these two, there is a high chance that you could be suffering from symptoms of Eating Disorder.

Types of Eating Disorder

Eating disorder is a mental illness that has major symptoms of Irregular eating habits and a severe concern or distress about body shape and body weight. It is a pattern of eating too much or too less leading to a loss of the person’s overall well being. Some of them are:

Anorexia Nervosa

An intense fear of gaining body weight, having low body weight and a distorted perception of actual weight. They use all kinds of methods to restrict weight gain like laxatives, vomiting after meals, diuretics, enemas etc. They also restrict the amount of food intake or exercise too much to lose weight.

Bulimia Nervosa

Bulimia is a cycle of bingeing and resultant compensatory behaviours like induced-vomiting to undo the effects of purging food.

Binge Eating Disorder

People with BED consume huge amounts of food in short episodes which will generally occur twice or thrice weekly. In this episode, the person consumes abnormally huge amounts of food and has a persistent feeling of loss of control.

Hence, Eating disorders have hardly anything to do with food. It is a Life-threatening condition; that is a coping mechanism for underlying emotional problems including a loss of self –worth, a loss of sense of self etc.

So, If you or anyone you know has these kinds of unhealthy relationship with food, Please seek professional help.

Learn More about Mentriq and Dr Prerna Kohli.

How do some people always emit a lot of positive energy and confidence irrespective of how they look, what social connections they have and have money in their pocket or not?

Even the most doubtful person finds themselves attracted and enamoured by their charm. You turn to these people for advice, companionship and help always. They are the life of the party and their surroundings and you never seem to have enough of them.

What makes them so irresistible? What do they have that you don’t have?

The difference is that their Self-worth comes from within themselves and they are not searching for validation outside of them. If you are one of them who thinks that these traits are unteachable, natural, by genes and is for only a few; that is a gross misconception.

There are certain habits that these people practice daily to become what they are:

Focus on People more than anything else.

Concentrate on the people around you than looking at your smartphones. Listen to what people around you want to say and ask open-ended questions to draw them out more. Do not obsess with yourself and spend time thinking what you should respond to people or what they are thinking about you.

Be Authentic.

Do not fake about who you are. Be who you are and talk about what you feel is right. When you are authentic, people do not have to burn their brains to find out what your next move will be. People know you can be trusted when you put up the real face.

Find your reasons to love Life.

Always be passionate and positive about whatever you do. Always look at life as an adventure and approach it with joy. Other people will always want to be a part of your exciting journey. Treat your problems as temporary obstacles than internalizing it and thinking of it as an inescapable fate. Remember if today is a bad day, tomorrow, next week, next month or next year would be better.

Ditch Small talk.

Small talk will keep you away from the true emotional connection. Do not approach people with small-talk; it will put the mind of the listener on autopilot and hence will prevent any real affinity towards you. Instead be interested in the other person’s life and adventures.

Treat everyone with respect.

Be polite to everyone alike, be it your biggest client or a waiter taking his orders. People notice when you behave very nicely with them and not with others around you. Always keep your head levelled and separate yourself from your successes.

Don’t try too hard.

Do not dominate your conversations with how smart and successful you are. Resist the urge and with practice and eventually, your patterns of communication will change.

Smile.

People unconsciously mirror your body language when you talk to them. Smile during conversations and people will return you the favour.

Be Presentable.

Make a genuine effort to look your best, like cleaning your house before guests arrive as a respect for the other person. Once you have made yourself presentable, forget about it.

Differentiate between Fact and Opinion

Handle controversial topics with grace and poise. Share your opinions but make it clear that they are just opinions, not facts. Recognise that whether you are discussing global warming, GMO food, or Politics; people as intelligent as you may have different opinions.

Being Irresistible is perfecting a few habits. Always remember the key is to Focus more on the other person than on yourself.

Do you often feel like you did not deserve whatever you have achieved? Be it your college grades, the promotion or the salary hike. Hence, whatever you achieve is the result of Luck, chance or negligence of other people. Do you often find youself stressing out about the fact that you are a fraud; would be exposed someday and all that you achieved would be rightfully taken away from you?

There is a name for these set of negative thoughts that you have. You are suffering from the “ IMPOSTER SYNDROME”.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome is a pattern of Self-Doubt and Anxiety that will make you question your abilities, even when you succeed at something and you will find yourself searching some external validation for your successes. To simplify, it will be difficult for you to recognize and rejoice your accomplishments and strengths.

You will always have a feeling that your achievements are a result of some mysterious Fluke or Luck. They are afraid that unless they make a huge effort next time, they are going to Blow it and never succeed again.

This Syndrome is defined as a set of feelings, including inadequacy, self-doubt, intellectual fraudulence that persists despite proof of competence. However, Imposter syndrome does not equate with lack of Self-confidence or Low Self-Esteem. On the contrary, some researchers have linked it to “ Perfectionism”.

Symptoms of Imposter Syndrome

Although there is no specific Line of diagnosis for this, all mental health professionals have dealt with it. Some Indicators are outlined below

• Difficulty accepting Praise or compliments
•  Discount your success for Luck or mere chance
•  Always overwork even after the project has reached its completion
• Have the compulsive need to be the best
• You are not able to enjoy your successes
• Fear success sometimes
• You always compare your struggles with others
• focus more on what you haven’t done than on what you have done
• You have convinced yourself that you are not enough

If You are suffering from these persistent feelings of being a Fraud, you are not the only one who suffered from these kinds of feelings. Research shows that 70% of people have these feeling at some point in their life. SEEK HELP! Recognise that these thoughts are stopping you from Limitless growth and abundance in Life. You do not have to do everything alone.