Crash Course on Conflict

Conflicts are a very common place in work situations. Conflict is certainly a good thing. Yes, you read it right! If the conflict situation is used well, conflicts can result in a lot of growth, both personal and professional. Most people tend to avoid conflicts, as that is the path of least resistance. However, that doesn’t resolve the conflict. It just stays under-cover and results in passive aggression in the work-place and the day it finally bursts out, it will be far messier than the initial one. Instead, actively working towards the resolution of the conflict is the right strategy to implement to cool things down and resume work in positive spirits.

Sources of conflict

It is now time to identify the general sources of conflict in the workplace:

• Different Interests: Competition to win one’s own interests is a major cause of conflicts
• Different values: Different people perceive things differently and that sure is a source of conflict.
• Personality clashes: Acceptance of various personalities and personal approaches toward work is a key factor in maintaining a healthy workplace
• Poor communication: Results in misunderstanding and mistrust between employees.
• Poor performance: When some work hard and some don’t, it naturally creates conflict with one group calling out or taunting the other
• Scarce resources: This one goes back to ‘survival of the fittest’ and competitive mentality

Ways to handle conflict

Once you know which category you are falling into, it is now time to consider different ways of handling conflict:

• Avoidance: Avoid facing the conflict. This is wishful thinking that the conflict will subside and lack of action towards an active resolution.
• Collaboration: Paving way towards a new and a mutually beneficial solution or way of doing things
• Compromise: Using strategies for negotiation and finding the middle ground where both parties win and lose a little at the same time
• Competing: Simply put “The best man wins” attitude towards conflict. One productive change that can be used is by converting it into “The best idea wins”
• Accommodation: Giving up and let the other person have their way for this time.

Prepare for conflict-resolution:

Here are the things to take care of during conflict resolution process:

• Define Acceptable Behaviour: The expected behaviours and conduct while performing duties and during conflict should be well articulated and communicated so that they know what will be tolerated and what won’t be.
• Address it face-to-face: It is better to get things done face-to-face instead letting things go awry by telephone or email.
• Hit Conflict Head-on: Spot potential areas from where conflict could arise and address them before it even becomes a thing.
• Take time-out where necessary: When things get too heated up, it’s a good idea to take a time-out and cool down.
• Stick to real issues: Means the issues of the here and now! Avoid pulling up past or calling names.
• Be aware of motives: It is very important to be aware of the other person’s motives and what they are trying to achieve. What you initially think may not be what they are really after. It’s always good to ask!
• Importance Factor: Fight only worthy battles. Don’t waste your time picking battles that aren’t worth it.
• View conflict as an Opportunity: Leverage conflict for growth. The right resolution could lead to great innovation and change.

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Stressed to Blessed: Winning at your workplace

Pressure is one of the good things in life. It keeps us on the toes and gets the best performance out of us. It is what converts coal into a diamond. However, when it crosses its healthy boundaries, we find ourselves suddenly stuck in stress. In today’s fast-paced work-culture, stress has become commonplace. While some cope well with it, others fall prey to its ill effects.

Research proves that stress is directly related to blood pressure, heart disease, overeating and a host of other health problems. It creates a lot of worry and insecurity and clouds our lives with various emotional and psychological problems. It thus makes sense to conclude that stress saps our lives out of the happiness and fun of living.

However, the good news is that it doesn’t have to happen to us and there are strategies and told we can use to avoid falling into such quagmire. Read on to develop the skills to settle the stress once and for all.

Practice mindfulness:

This is a very effective tool in stress busting. It brings us back to perspective and breaks the cycle of stress and worry. One can implement mindfulness in every walk of their life like mindful breathing, mindful walking, mindful speech and deep listening.

Focus on the big picture:

While it is easy to get lost in details, always keep an eye out on the big stuff. Doing so helps you feel purposeful and takes the stress out of everyday tasks. When we lose meaning and purpose, the stress seems to sky-rocket. The key to enjoying stress-free work is to learn to love it with a great sense of meaning, purpose and personal fulfilment attached.

Relax:

Take those occasional breaks to stretch and walk or have a conversation with a co-worker. A breath of fresh-air or some natural light can also work wonders.

Avoid:

You are not doing any favour to yourself by using substances to ward off stress. Substances include coffee, cigarette or alcohol. You possess the internal strength to get over stress and don’t have to rely on external substances to help you with it. When the need is felt to munch on something, have some healthier alternatives at dispense.

Control your environment:

Your cubicle or work-slot should be filled with positive things like laughing faces, mood enhancing humour, photos of your loved ones and inspiring quotes that help you be focused on the day-to-day.

Communication and Expectations:

Most of the problems can be sorted out with proper communication and realistic/fair expectations. Avoid communication with clients or co-workers when you are feeling stressed or angry. Practice a few mindful moments and get back when you’re ready.

Superman Syndrome:

Don’t overcommit to tasks like Superman does and end-up unable to deliver and at loss of peace. We get it. You want to be a hero. But, if you walk down the road of over-committing, you will accomplish the exact opposite.

Rest and Exercise:

The number of times you would have read this is probably way too high. But, we’re also sure that the number of times you’ve done something about it is far too low. That is where priorities and rituals come in place. Do these first and everything else later. Proper rest and exercise restore the balance and release good hormones to foster your well-being.

Lastly, when it goes out of control, it makes sense to seek professional help from a professional counsellor. What do you think?

Continuing work in the face of depression

Findings suggest that 33% of the workforce in India is undergoing depression or some form of mental morbidity. What that means is that members of your colleagues or yourself could be undergoing depression. We’re not talking about occasional sadness or burnout but a serious case of depression that needs positive therapeutic intervention from a Psychologist.

In the best interests of those among us who are victims of the aforementioned phenomenon, we decided to extend a helping hand by listing out a few coping strategies below to keep you going.

Identify:

Look for signs of depression in yourself. Here are a few:

1. You’re tired all the time
2. Any kind of participation (conversations, meetings etc.) feel like a burden
3. You lack enthusiasm for work and don’t find deadlines motivating
4. You use the restroom for crying spells
5. You’re burying yourself in work to escape your emotions

If you find yourself doing any or all of the above, it’s time to seek help.

Break-time:

Yes, you are ambitious and want to remain ultra-productive. But, when things start going awry, it is healthy to accept that you are unable to keep up. The solution, however, is not about slogging extra hours at work with a dwindling efficiency. What helps in a better way is to take time off and seek help. Occasional slow-down wards off the possibility of total breakdown.

Therapy:

We are of the opinion that when people speak about health, they forget what is above their neck. Anything below the neck like aches and pains, tears and injuries get the best of their attention. But, when it comes to mental health, there is a prejudiced opinion that you don’t need treatment or therapy. We seek extensive treatments for diabetes. But, did you know that stress is one of the main reasons for diabetes? If we addressed stress when it needed attention, maybe we wouldn’t have ended up with diabetes? So, it makes sense to get started with right therapy.

Use the Resources:

If your employer provides an Employee Assistance Program, go ahead and make use of it. If such a system is not in place, reach out for private consultant psychologists. One can even confide in their friends or reach out to their family for help. Although, they may not be able to offer any help as such, having a non-judgmental listening ear is always a gift.

Getting through the day:

Here are few things you could do to accomplish this:

1. Create lists and top priorities and focus on one task at a time
2. Communicate your deliverables to your boss every day so that you make yourself accountable
3. Forgetfulness is a part of this journey. Take plenty of notes during meetings and use reminders to remind yourself of important tasks that you can’t afford to miss
4. Get out of your office chamber and escape the eternal surfing of web and feeling terrible. Place your work-table among your co-workers so that you feel alive and part of a group. Hit a balance between wanting to be alone and catering to your social needs.

Confess?

If it helps and depending on your workplace environment and relationship with the boss, consider disclosing your struggles to them so that they don’t mistake you for being lazy and are aware of your challenges.

Health and appearance:

Eat well, drink well and exercise well. What’s more? Dress well, groom yourself well and look at your beautiful face in the mirror. All these small things make a difference in your mood and day.

Know your triggers:

Become self-aware and know what things (work, relationships, people etc.), triggers your mood on a downward spiral. As soon as you know you are about to hit your triggers, be cautious and move away or seek help to manage the triggers before they grow too big.

Take it easy:

Don’t expect too much out of yourself. Relax and take it easy. 10% of your original productivity is fine if you are taking right therapy and increasing it 1% per day. Guess what? You’ll be hitting 100% in 3 months (90 days). Isn’t that good news?